Love Never Forgotten
by Spunky0ne
Summary: Seven years after being reported killed in action, Renji is sensed in the Rukongai. But what Byakuya finds when he arrives is more nightmare than dream come true. Face to face with an old enemy, he learns the meaning of fear as he is forced to risk everything to rescue Renji and his young son. Bya/Renji, Ichigo/Tetsuya pairings. Yaoi, angst, mpreg
1. Secret Prince

**Love, Never Forgotten**

**By Spunky0ne**

**(For Spunky's Nakama - Thank you for taking care of me! *hugs* What a wonderful friend you are. I am so very lucky to have you! This is a sweet, but angsty Bya/Ren (Renji in distress) and Ichigo/Tetsuya story. Enjoy!)**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**Chapter 1: Secret Prince**

The solemn click of his chamber door opening brought the red haired man awake and made him turn instinctively towards the sound. He heard a familiar limping step coming in from the dark hallway and groaned softly. The footsteps stopped just short of his bed and he heard the soft rustle of clothes being shed. A warm body slid into the bed beside him, and the redhead flinched, but made no protest as the other man's cold, intrusive hands began to explore his naked, restrained body.

"You did well today, Aki. We made a lot of money. I don't enjoy letting those men put their hands on you, but they do pay well for the privilege. But work time is over. It is time for your reward."

The redhead said nothing, but offered no resistance as his master's fingers traced familiar pathways on his skin.

_He really likes those markings, _Aki mused inwardly, _I wish that I could see them. Maybe if I saw them, then I would remember._

But Madoka had warned him before that he should not ask too many questions about his past.

_"All you need to know is that your lover tried to kill you. He believed you were unfaithful, so he blinded you and beat you, giving you those injuries that stole your strength and left you like this. You were nearly dead when I found you and brought you here. Forget the past, Aki. It does no good to go back there._

But there was one bit of the past that he had been allowed to keep...one small thing that he would give anything to protect.

"Will I be allowed to see him today?" Aki asked softly.

He felt the weight of the other man's eyes touch him, and wasn't sure why that always made his skin crawl...or why it always felt somewhat wrong and even sickening to be caressed and kissed by him. But whatever his feelings were, they weren't enough to allow him to object. He laid still as Madoka's hands possessed him, guiding his mouth down to the man's hot nether region as the invasive fingers prepared him.

"We shall see," the man said in a softer, slightly breathy voice, "If you please me well, then I will let you go."

He put his best effort into the job he had been given, treating the other man's privates to a slow and intense, erotic exploration that made Madoka groan and sink his fingers into the redhead's thick mane until it hurt.

Aki was turned onto his belly, and the man entered him from behind, not wasting effort on patience as he thrust into the redhead's slightly shaking body.

_I hate being weak._

_I think that I must have been strong before. But I don't remember. I don't remember much at all before waking up here. Just pain. Darkness. And that angel's face that haunts me. It's the only thing that my eyes can still see. I wonder if it's the guy that Madoka speaks about. But that face could never belong to someone who would hurt me that way. It's not a cruel face, although I remember it looking sad before. I wonder what happened. I don't know if what Madoka told me is true or not. I only know I can't ask questions. He would kill my boy, and what's left of my heart would die with him._

_No, it's better this way. It doesn't hurt too much, and he does take care of me. He pays for Kisho's schooling. That's what's important, keeping Kisho well. What happens to me stopped mattering a long time ago. I'm just hanging on until Kisho's grown up. Then..._

His thoughts were interrupted as Madoka's body stiffened, and he felt the other man's heat fill him inside.

_Madoka is a cold, insensitive bastard, but he is all that we have...Kisho and me. That other guy? I wonder if he even cares. I wonder if he knows I'm alive. But it doesn't matter. Nothing matters but my beautiful boy._

_I know his eyes are gray and that mine are not._

_I wonder if those other gray eyes ever cry because I am gone._

XXXXXXXXXX

"Kuchiki taichou?"

Byakuya blinked at the sudden invasion of his cousin's voice into his thoughts. He looked up from his work, still almost seeing his former red-haired fukutaichou sitting in the place his younger cousin now occupied. Tetsuya waited patiently for an answer, his intelligent sapphire eyes questioning.

"What is it, Kuchiki fukutaichou?" Byakuya asked quietly.

"I am finished with the last of the reports. The inventories are done and the deployments are posted."

"Ah, yes," the clan leader said, looking back down at the page in front of him, "And you are late for your date with the Shiba heir, ne?"

"A bit," Tetsuya confirmed, "But it's all right. Ichigo knows that things get busy here."

"You may go," Byakuya said, nodding, "Just mind that he treats you respectably, or he will have to deal with me."

"Of course," Tetsuya chuckled, looking amused, "Arigatou, Kuchiki taichou."

"Good evening, Kuchiki fukutaichou," Byakuya answered, a hint of affection in his voice.

He looked up for a moment as his cousin left the room, then started to look back down again, but found his eyes drifting to look at the fukutaichou's desk again. It stood empty now, meticulously cleared and ready for use the next day. The sword mount on the wall stood empty, but Byakuya could almost see Zabimaru set in place where Tetsuya's Re-kuhime usually rested now.

"Renji..." he whispered, closing his eyes against the soft catch inside that he still felt whenever he thought of his fallen subordinate.

_But he was more than just a subordinate...more than someone I mentored and helped to grow. Renji was a good friend, a devoted colleague and the man I loved._

_I should have told him sooner..._

_I have to live with that regret._

He shoved the weighty thought away and turned his attention back to the papers in front of him. He blinked in surprise, realizing that he was also finished with his share of the work. He sighed softly, not knowing quite what to do with himself. Walking home would have been fine, had Tetsuya been there to distract him, but alone, he would be far too inclined to look up at the stars and moon.

And doing that now was just painful.

_I haven't been able to look up into the night sky since the night that we spent making love and looking up at it together. But at very least, that last night we had was beautiful. Renji looked serenely happy. The only thing that would have made him look happier would have been me saying the words._

_I love you._

_Is that so difficult?_

_I wonder why it seemed so hard to admit before. Was it because of Hisana? Did I somehow fear that if I said the words to him that he would leave me too?_

_Maybe that is why._

_But if it is, then it was a stupid thing to do. He is just as gone from my life as he would be if I had said that to him. But...because I did not say it, I suffer deep regret._

_Renji, I am sorry I didn't tell you. I love you, Renji. I will love you forever._

He was sure then, that he couldn't face walking home alone. He walked, instead, into the hallway and paused, caught between his quarters and what had been Renji's. When he finally found himself able to move again, he stepped, not in the direction of his own quarters, but what had been Renji's. Tetsuya had taken a room on the other side of the hall, next to Byakuya's, and so the former fukutaichou's room remained as it had been...a last sign that the red haired man named Abarai Renji had actually existed.

There wasn't much left in the room. Renji hadn't kept much there. A few uniforms, some personal effects and a few pictures. The one most proudly displayed, the one from his recent taichou's exam. And beneath it, the note he had sent the redhead with a congratulatory gift.

_Renji, congratulations on your advancement to taichou's candidacy. I look forward to seeing you placed among the ranks of the taichous. It is something you have worked hard to earn and it is well deserved. Wear your haori with pride._

_ Byakuya_

It hurt to think of the perfectly tailored haori that still waited, hanging in his closet at Kuchiki Manor, the newly inscribed eighth division insignia on the back. That Renji would never lay eyes on something he had worked so hard to earn seemed criminal. But Kuchiki Byakuya was well acquainted with the damning fact that life was not fair.

Dark emotions nipping at his heart, he sought one other thing that Renji had left in the room...several concealed bottles of strong sake. He picked up one of the bottles and sat down on Renji's bed, catching the redhead's fading scent and feeling tears beginning to rise in his eyes.

Before they could escape, he drowned the pain in swallow after swallow of the pale, burning liquid. He drank until everything around him had faded and he collapsed onto Renji's bed and fell into a discomfited, drunken sleep. He managed to avoid the tears until he was too far gone to realize he was shedding them.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Ichigo!" Tetsuya gasped softly, as the Shiba heir's arms wrapped around him from behind and Ichigo's lips made a line of kisses along the side of his pale throat, "I didn't even sense you that time. You are improving n your reiatsu control."

"Yeah, well, they insisted I had to, at some point," Ichigo chuckled, meeting Tetsuya's seeking mouth as the raven-haired beauty turned to face him.

"Hmmm..." Tetsuya moaned softly, forgetting completely what they were talking about and sinking more deeply into the other man's arms.

"How is Byakuya doing?"

Tetsuya sighed, pulling away and shaking his head briefly.

"He is the same. He pretends that things are normal, but I can feel his sadness. Ichigo, he and Renji were...very close."

"I know," the Shiba heir agreed, "Renji couldn't stop talking about his promotion. And the night before, he told me that he was meeting Byakuya for an actual date. I don't know if it ever happened, but..."

"It did," Tetsuya confirmed, "They were falling in love. It's so sad that all they had was that one night."

"Yeah," Ichigo agreed, sliding his hands beneath Tetsuya's clothes and caressing the soft, warm flesh beneath as they continued to kiss under the full moon, "It just goes to show we shouldn't waste time. We never know when time will run out for us. But...you know all about that, don't you?"

"Hmmm," Tetsuya sighed regretfully, "Yes. But, we cannot afford to be frozen in time, Ichigo. When love is lost and our hearts are broken, we must endure. Because, we never know when love will enter our lives again."

The two fell quiet as their kisses intensified, and Ichigo lowered Tetsuya slowly to the ground beneath the sakura tree they stood under. He undressed the lovely Kuchiki slowly and lovingly caressed the fine skin he had revealed, leaving the sapphire-eyed noble panting softly and sweetly blushing.

"So...will you let me make love to you tonight?" Ichigo asked, shifting so that Tetsuya could feel the heat of his arousal against one soft, bared thigh.

"Ah...I...I want to, but..."

"Stop right there," Ichigo said, stopping his words with a storm of hard, penetrating kisses, "Don't say anymore. I don't wanna hear it. Just make love to me, Tetsuya. We've waited a long time. Too long, if you ask me."

He pressed forward, parting Tetsuya's trembling thighs and kissing him harder.

"I love you."

"Ichigo! I love you too, but...!"

"Nope, not gonna let you back out!" Ichigo laughed, holding him down and teasing sweet moans and soft gasps of pleasure as he prepared his lover for their first joining.

"I-ichigo, w-wait!" Tetsuya panted, trying to pull away.

His words left him as their bodies were slowly and breathtakingly joined.

"Ichigo...!" Tetusya moaned senselessly, unable to stop his body from moving with the one on top of it, "Ichigo, I could become...! At least let me..."

"Shhh," Ichigo shushed him, licking his lips and plunging deeply into his mouth and body, thrusting hard and fast as Tetsuya writhed and moaned beneath him, "This is perfect! H-here, under the stars and that moon's so bright it feels like sunshine. And I love you so much I want to just eat you alive!"

"Ichigo!" Tetsuya gasped, closing his eyes as he was overcome.

His slender body rose up hard against Ichigo's, and he loosed his release in long, hot pulses onto their sweating skin. Ichigo thrust in deeply and went taut against him, groaning with pure bliss as he filled his lover's body with his seed, then collapsed, panting and smiling, onto Tetsuya's bare shoulder.

"You fool!" Tetsuya managed finally, "I was trying to warn you. I could become pregnant!"

To his surprise, Ichigo's smile didn't even waver.

"Bring it on," he panted happily, "I'm okay with that."

"You're delirious!" Tetsuya laughed.

"Maybe," Ichigo said, grinning, "But it feels pretty damned good."

"We'll see how good it feels when my cousin finds out about this," the blue-eyed Kuchiki said, shaking his head, "He's going to kill you if he finds out we were intimate, and without protection! You've set us up for a pretty scandal. You're going to have to marry me if you've impregnated me, you know...that or duel my leader to the death!"

"Hmmm, which one should I pick?" Ichigo joked, earning a sharp swat on the bare bottom, "Ow!"

"You deserve it. Saying such things!" Tetsuya complained, blushing.

"Don't worry about it. Whatever happens, I'm not going anywhere."

"Good," Tetsuya sighed, closing his eyes and wishing fiercely that this time, it could be true.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Aki-san!" Kisho called out excitedly, catching sight of the tall, red-haired man as he approached the front of the boarding school.

"Hey, Kisho," Aki said, feeling the nagging pains in his body disappear as the little boy ran to him and leapt into his arms, "How's school?"

"Boring," the lad answered truthfully, "except that we are studying astronomy now, so we've been going out to look at the stars at night."

"That sounds great," Aki said, hugging the boy tightly, then letting him back down, "I have good news. I have the whole weekend to spend with you this time."

"Really?" Kisho cried excitedly, "Can we go camping? I'll bring my telescope so that we...erm...so that I can work on my constellations!"

"Great, you do that. I may not be able to see them, but I know where they are and what they're called."

"You do? How do you know that?"

Aki froze for a moment, frowning as he encountered a flash image of a raven-haired man, holding him close and speaking in a soft, tranquil voice about the stars above them.

"Eh...I haven't always been blind, you know," he reminded the boy, "I had a...a friend who taught me about the stars. He used to tell me stories...myths."

"Really?" Kisho asked, grinning, "That's what we're studying too!"

"All right," said Aki, "Go on and start packing. We'll leave as soon as you're ready."

Aki listened as the boy's footsteps faded. He moved forward slowly, sensing, even without his eyes, where thing were around him. He felt a twinge of unhappiness that he still limped so badly.

_But being a little gimpy beats being dead any day, _he concluded, _And being with my little boy beats everything, hands down._

_I just wonder._

_I wonder if I'll ever get up the nerve to tell him._

_But then, who'd want a blind, crippled peasant like me for a father? I'm a better friend. So, we'll just leave it at that._

_For now._


	2. Under the Stars

**Chapter 2: Under the Stars**

**(You guys asked for it! You got it! A shiny, brand new chapter! Thanks to Seya (Here you go!), Criztalinz (Yay! Just lots of back and forth chat over the story will be payment enough. Glad to entertain you!), Walkure (Um...I think he will, but he has a little bit of work to do first.), Purple Light Snow (Ah, yes, the clues are all over about what happened and Byakuya will soon be adding things up.), Kyuumihaira (Hmmm, how will that happen?), SunlessNights (I've got a huge addiction to writing...in all flavors!), phAnt0mgh0st7018 (I'm so glad you're along for the read!), Guest (Thanks so much!), irockyourworld123 (Aww, thanks! It's good to be back on my feet and working hard!), Byakuya-fan (I'm so glad to inspire such excitement! Thanks for reading.), NamineLily (Aww, Bya-kun will be along to kiss away Renji's tears soon!), Emmagem803 (Heehee! I added it to the list! lol), MissLilly2012 (Well, he won't have had it easy, but he will realy be there for Renji and Kisho in a big way!), Nyma (So glad you like! Thanks for reading!), Renji-Bya-Lover (Ah, this will be an unusual reveal...), and alabirdie (So good to hear from you! *hugs* I will keep the chapters coming, and also your other 'Renji in distress' faves too! Glad to have you back!) Love you all! Spunky)**

"Nii-sama?" Rukia called softly, stepping into Renji's quarters and closing the door behind her.

She stood in the darkness, letting her eyes adjust and waiting for some indication that her inebriated brother had heard her.

"Leave," he said sternly, not even opening his eyes to look up at her.

"Nii-sama..."

"You heard me," he said in a low, warning voice, "I told you to go."

"I heard you," Rukia said, her voice shaking slightly, "But I am not leaving you alone like this for one more night! You can't go on like this, Byakuya! I know that your heart is broken...that you loved Renji as far more than a comrade."

"He told you this?" the clan leader asked, sounding darkly surprised.

"He didn't have to," Rukia said, shaking her head and blinking away tears, "I have known Renji all of my life. We have been everything to each other, Nii-sama. How would I not know that he was in love with you? And the way he was so happy those last days. I know he was happy about the promotion, but it didn't take much to figure out what else was going on. Most of what he said to me wasn't so much about the promotion, but about how good things were between the two of you. And you kept asking him over to the manor for this or that. You were pretty obvious to me as well."

"I see," Byakuya said, sitting up and putting a hand to his forehead to stave off the instant headache that the motion caused, "I believe I owe you an apology, Rukia. I was being...quite selfish, it seems. You also lost a friend...someone you would have turned to in darker times like these. And as usual, I haven't been the brother I should have been. I am...sorry."

Rukia took a steadying breath, then moved forward and sat down on the edge of the bed. Byakuya held perfectly still, only loosing a soft, surprised breath as she wrapped an arm around him and laid her head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry too, Nii-sama. Now, twice you have lost someone you loved."

She sighed softly and closed her eyes, breathing in his warm, sakura scent.

"It's not fair..."

"It never is," Byakuya said quietly, "You and I know that well, do we not? Have we not both watched the ones around us fall, and yet risen to see the next sunrise a little more alone each time? My mother, my father and grandfather, Hisana and Renji? And you, one by one the ones you watched over and sheltered, growing up in Inuzuri?"

"I got to wondering," Rukia whispered, leaving her eyes closed and her arms around her brother, "if there was some reason that every time it wasn't me. And sometimes, losing them was so hard that I wished it was me."

"For me it was the same," Byakuya responded softly, "But when I was sure my own time had come, when I stood at the edges of life and looked back, I realized suddenly, how many I still had to protect. And knowing that, there was no way that I could move on peacefully."

Rukia opened her eyes again and fixed them on her troubled sibling's handsome profile.

"You don't really wish that you had died, do you?"

Byakuya managed a small smile and sighed.

"If I had died then, Renji and I would never have been together. All we would have been was a hopeful dream. And too many of those are shattered every day. I am glad that one wasn't. That is why I endure."

"Me too," Rukia agreed, squeezing his hand where hers had slipped into it, "I have watched every friend that I grew up with die and disappear. Renji was the last. But...because of you, I still have friends. I have a family. You have given me so much, Nii-sama."

"I did not do so much," Byakuya said solemnly, "I honored your sister's wishes. That is all."

"That isn't all you did," Rukia countered, turning her head and kissing him lightly on the cheek, "Since Aizen's betrayal, you have gone above and beyond what my sister asked. You have been a true brother to me, Nii-sama. I am very grateful."

Byakuya didn't answer, but turned his head so that his cheek rested on the top of Rukia's head.

"Will you come home with me, Nii-sama?" Rukia asked softly, "I know you are still suffering, but you could let Torio-san fuss over you a bit. You know he worries for you. He, of all people, knows how you have been neglecting yourself."

Byakuya considered refusing, but realized that his sister was right that he couldn't go on the way he had, drowning his emotions nightly in sake and hanging on to the fading ghost of yet another lost love.

"If you wish," he sighed, letting her help him to his feet.

He did his best to straighten himself and to put his uniform back in order, then the two left Renji's quarters and walked out of the sixth division together. It was late at night by then and the Seireitei streets were silent and empty. The two did not speak as they walked, and Byakuya was careful to keep his eyes fixed on a spot on the ground a short distance ahead of him so that he wouldn't be tempted by the lovely nighttime sky. They reached the manor a short time later and were greeted by the house guards. Rukia gave her brother a hug, then left, yawning, for her room, followed by her equally sleepy looking attendant, while Byakuya turned himself over to his attendant, letting Torio draw him a hot bath, then accepting a warm massage before falling into his bed and surrendering to sleep.

But even after everything, Abarai Renji still haunted his dreams.

XXXXXXXXXX

"You cut your hair again," Kisho commented as he rested on his back alongside Aki in the long grass, atop a tree dotted hill, looking up at the stars, "I kind of liked how it looked longer and braided the way you had it."

"Eh, well it was becoming a bother having to deal with it. It's easier to manage this way," Aki said, slowing his breaths to enjoy the cool night air that was lightly touched with his son's gentle, almost flowery scent.

The truth, of course, was that he actually liked the feel of having his hair longer and running his fingers through the thick strands as he braided it every day, but Madoka had insisted on the shorter and what he called, more trendy cut. His former lover, he had been told, had demanded that he never cut it, giving Madoka another reason to want it kept differently.

_He seems to want to erase everything that I was before. If he was in love with me, I would understand, but there's something weird about it. The only thing he seems to not want to change are my tattoos. He makes me get naked to touch them, nearly every time we are alone together. It's funny that he's the only one who ever mentions them._

_Weird._

"Aki-san?"

"Hmmm? Oh, sorry, I got lost in my head for a minute. What were you saying?"

"I was just remembering out loud about watching the Pleiades with you before. Remember? We were talking about how sad the myth was and how most of the mythological romances ended up in disaster?"

"Yeah," Aki chuckled, "And I warned you about not letting yourself get roped into that romantic crap. A little romance is nice, but it's more important to be able to take care of yourself, you know? Still, maybe that's just for lower Rukon folk like me, not for someone young and good looking like you. I'll bet you have lots of girls chasing after you!"

"Aki-san, I am only seven!" the little boy objected, "The _last_ thing I want is girls following me around! Except maybe Gia-chan. She's at least interesting. She's a fast runner and she's really smart."

"Yeah?" Aki said, grinning, "Well, I have news for you, little man. You will be eight years old in a couple more hours, and one step closer to being grown. I'm real proud of you. Michio and Noa both said that you were learning by leaps and bounds. Noa also said that you have a way with animals and with growing plants and flowers. You're a budding naturalist."

"I saw a picture of the gardens at Kuchiki Manor in the Seireitei. They're said to be the most beautiful gardens in the three worlds," Kisho said excitedly, "And then, I started a little garden. Michio said that he will show me how to put in a small koi pond. It won't hold too many fish, but..."

Renji froze for a moment as a flash of memory jolted him.

_He stood quietly, looking down onto the glassy surface of the koi pond and admiring the reflection of the stars and moon. A soft step sounded on the pathway behind him and he smiled, waiting for his lover's arms to wrap around him. To his surprise, he received instead, a hard nudge in the back and an equine snicker as he tumbled forward and splashed down into the water._

_"HEY!" he yelled, "You stupid, brainless fleabag! I'm supposed to go on a date tonight! How in the hell can I go anywhere like this? Thanks a lot, you annoying..."_

_He broke off as blue-eyed shinigami appeared at the edge of the pool._

_"I am sorry, Renji-san," the young man apologized, looking penitent, "I don't know what's gotten into him. Come, I will loan you a kimono to wear for your date tonight."_

"Renji," he mouthed silently.

"What was that?" Kisho asked absently, "Did you say something, Aki-san?"

"Erm, no," Aki sighed, shaking his head, "All of this fresh air just makes me kinda dreamy, you know?"

"You can imagine all kinds of things," Kisho agreed, blinking and starting to drift off, "I like to imagine being like the shinigamis who come into town to fight the hollows. If I had powers like theirs instead of just healing and growing powers, I could fight like they do and save people from those monsters."

Aki flinched inwardly, thinking briefly of the heavy seal Madoka had placed on the boy as part of their agreement.

_"You don't want him to throw away the life you gave him, ne?" Madoka asked, looking steadily down at the baby in the redhead's arms, "The shinigamis are a vain, violent group, led by self-righteous bastard nobles like the one who used you up and then sucked the life out of you, leaving you with no powers, barely alive and pregnant. Do you really want your boy to become like them? Remember Aki, he is one of them. The noble you surrendered yourself to could always seek to take him back. Do you want that?"_

"Yeah," Aki sighed, squeezing the boy's hand gently, "Well, you're better off being a healer. Michio's already said that he's paying you to assist him. You're already working for a living and just a kid. That's the important thing...taking care of yourself and other people. Let the shinigamis handle the monsters."

_After all, being monsters themselves, they're the ones who should do it._

But some part of Aki seemed to quiver at the words.

_What's wrong with me? I know that guy was beautiful, but he didn't love me. Isn't that what Madoka said? I wonder sometimes, but it's probably just wishful thinking._

"Wow!" Kisho exclaimed suddenly, "A shooting star! I got a wish in too."

"Oh? What'd you wish for?"

"Erm...I'm not supposed to say or it won't come true," Kisho said uncertainly.

"Okay," Aki chuckled, tousling the boy's wild, red hair, "Just keep it to yourself then."

Kisho gazed sleepily up at the stars, a sad feeling passing through him as he turned his head slightly to look at his blind guardian.

"I wish you could see the sky with me," he whispered, "It makes me sad that you can't see how bright the stars and moon are, Aki-san."

"Don't worry about it," Aki assured the boy, "I know I must've really appreciated them back when I could see the sky."

"Have you remembered anything more lately?"

Aki shook his head briefly.

"Naw, not really. But it's not important."

"How can you say that?" Kisho mused, "I know that I would like to know who my parents were. They must have loved me a lot to have given me to you for safekeeping. I don't even have a picture of them, and you can't describe them because you don't remember them."

He noted the slight frown that had come onto Aki's face and colored.

"S-sorry. I do really appreciate you taking care of me. And Michio-san and Noa-san are great. Just once, though, I wish I could see my parents and know what they were like."

"Hmmm," Aki sighed, his blind eyes closing against the words.

The two went quiet, listening to the calm night sounds around them.

"I'm glad you could stay for the weekend," Kisho said, after a while, "I love being at the school, but I wish that you and I could have a place to live together. Then, I could see Aki-san every day."

Aki smiled sadly.

"Yeah, I wish that too. I just don't have the money. But I am saving up. We will have a home soon."

_If Madoka ever agrees to let me go._

XXXXXXXXXX

"Ugh..." Byakuya groaned as the garden doors opened, letting in a painful blaze of light, "Torio, what are you...?"

He broke off as he spotted through squinting eyes, the shape of Kyouraku soutaichou.

"Ah..."

"Good morning, Kuchiki taichou," Kyouraku said amiably, sitting down in a chair by the bed.

Despite the instant complaints from his aching head, Byakuya sat up and nodded briefly, then reeled at the feeling of sickness that struck him.

"K-kami!"

"Yeah, I know that feeling," Shunsui acknowledged.

"What brings you to Kuchiki Manor?" Byakuya asked in a low, shaky voice.

"You missed the taichous' meeting," said Kyouraku, meeting his eyes meaningfully, "so I thought I would come over and give you the update myself."

"My apologies," the noble said, lowering his head slightly and letting his eyes drift nearly closed, "I will not let it happen again."

"Now where have I heard that before? Hey, I get it. I get that you're having a hell of a time dealing with losing your fukutaichou, and just before his promotion. All of us taichous and fukutaichous live with the nightmares of having that happen to us...well, except maybe Zaraki taichou and Kurotsuchi taichou, but you get my drift."

"Yes. Thank you. But, I know that you cannot keep covering for me. I have spiraled out of control and I don't know what to do to regain it."

"An honest answer," Shunsui said quietly, "And I have an idea."

Byakuya raised his eyes slightly.

"I am going to tell the other taichous and fukutaichous that you are on an extended undercover assignment."

"And what will my actual assignment be?" Byakuya asked softly.

"There's a place in the mid Rukongai where a friend of mine runs a facility to...get people out of a tailspin and turn them back in the right direction."

"You are requiring therapy?" Byakuya sighed, "I have staff that can..."

"I know that. But you aren't using the staff to help you. Come on, you know I'm right. Look, I get that you're still hurting. But neither you nor I want your squad to suffer any losses while you try to cope on your own."

Byakuya went silent, staring sullenly down at his folded hands.

"When am I to leave?"

"Now. Your cousin is ready to take you down there. He, Hanatarou and Ichigo are the only ones I'm telling why you're there. They're gonna watch over you while you dry out and get straightened up, okay?"

Byakuya bit at his lips in frustration, but out of the corner of one steely eye, he spotted a picture of Ginrei's proud face. A sharp twinge of guilt passed through him, and he immediately felt an urge to drown it in sake.

"Very well," he said softly, accepting Kyouraku's hand and sliding to his feet.

"Okay," said the captain commander, nodding at a teary-eyed Torio, "Your attendant's going to take care of you and get you ready to go. Hanatarou will be down to check on your progress every so often."

"Hmmm."

"Kuchiki taichou."

Byakuya raised his eyes to meet Kyouraku's.

"I know what I would feel like, standing in your shoes. Take care of yourself, all right?"

Byakuya couldn't speak, but nodded briefly.

Tears rolled down Torio's cheeks as he dressed the clan leader, then bowed briefly when he was done. He sniffed softly as Byakuya left the bedroom and dissolved into tears as he heard Arashi's hoofbeats fading into the distance.


	3. The Healing

**Chapter 3: The Healing**

"Ah, Kuchiki taichou," said the admittance clerk at the front desk of the rehabilitation facility, "We were told to expect you."

She turned her blue eyes on the two men who accompanied Byakuya.

"And you two gentleman are?"

"I am Tetsuya," the younger Kuchiki said, "Byakuya-sama's cousin."

"And I'm Kurosaki Ichigo. A friend."

"Very well. Thank you for seeing Kuchiki taichou to our facility. I regret that I must ask you to say your goodbyes here for now. The first two weeks, patients are not allowed visitors. But after that, you are welcome to come any day during our visiting hours."

"I understand," said Tetsuya, meeting Byakuya's eyes sadly.

He embraced Byakuya, closing his eyes and holding him tightly.

"Get well soon, watashi no itoko," he said softly, "I will make sure that all is kept well in your absence."

"I know you will," Byakuya acknowledged quietly, "Thank you, Tetsuya."

"Good luck, Byakuya," Ichigo said, extending a hand and smiling as Byakuya gently accepted, "Come back to us soon."

"I want the two of you to watch over Rukia while I am here."

"Of course," Tetsuya agreed.

Tetsuya and Ichigo nodded again briefly in farewell and left the clan leader standing quietly by the front desk.

"Just one moment, Kuchiki taichou," the clerk said, picking up her phone.

A few moments later, Byakuya looked up as a tall, slender man with black hair and tranquil green eyes stepped into the room. He approached the noble slowly, extending a hand in greeting.

"Welcome, Byakuya," he said softly, "I am Arishima Takumi. I am to be your rehabilitation counselor."

Byakuya accepted the man's hand quietly.

"Come this way," the man said, gesturing towards the hallway he had come in from, "I will get you settled."

Byakuya sighed softly and followed Takumi down the dim hallway, catching sight of a few of the facility's residents through several open doorways as he went. they reached a room at the end of the hall and walked inside, then Takumi closed the door behind them and regarded the clan leader for a moment.

"I will begin by asking you, why have you come to us?"

Byakuya frowned.

"I think both of us know that Kyouraku soutaichou sent me here to..."

"I understand that," Takumi said, nodding, "Kyouraku soutaichou did recommend you for commitment here. But, if you are going to embark upon a pathway to recovery, then you must also have your own goals for coming here. So, I ask you, why have you come to us, Byakuya?"

The noble sighed.

"I am here to end my reliance on alcohol. I think that is clear enough."

"It is a beginning," Takumi said patiently, "But recovery begins with an understanding of why one became reliant on whatever crutch he chose. You say that yours is alcohol. What is it that you were seeking to avoid, using that medium?"

Byakuya let out a piqued breath.

"I do not know if I feel comfortable discussing that with you. We have just met, and I know nothing about you. I understand that you are to counsel me, but I am not sure at all that you can advise me."

Takumi smiled tolerantly.

"Again, I understand. I believe your 'recommendation' to join us might have been more of a requirement, ne?"

"It would seem so," Byakuya admitted wearily, "But I am not resistant to treatment."

"But do you _want _to get well?" Takumi asked pointedly, "It will take more than a lack of resistance to recover from your current state. You must have a strong desire to be well again, Byakuya."

Byakuya's eyes met the counselor's tiredly.

"Then we are at an impasse. I honestly do not know if my desire to 'be well again' is strong enough. I don't know that 'being well again' is even possible."

Takumi gave him a measured look.

"You have...lost someone, then?" he asked, more softly.

Byakuya blinked in surprise.

Kyouraku soutaichou told you this, ne?" he asked.

"No."

"Then, how did you know?"

Takumi smiled kindly.

"I knew by your answers to my questions," he explained, "A reliance on something to avoid pain. A loss of interest in well being or in the future. That sadness beneath your eyes. Yes, you have lost someone important."

"It was some time ago," Byakuya said quietly, "But I have felt somewhat...directionless since his death."

"Who was this person to you?" Takumi asked, sitting down in a chair at the small table in the room and motioning for Byakuya to sit as well, "A friend, a family member?"

"A comrade in arms," Byakuya said solemnly, "A subordinate who was about to become my equal. And just before his death...only the night before, we became lovers."

"I see," Takumi said sympathetically, "Then...we are talking about Abarai Renji?"

Byakuya looked up at the other man questioningly, making Takumi's smile widen.

"You look surprised," he noted, "But Abarai Renji has a great reputation, here in the Rukongai. Even coming from the depths of society, he raised himself up and became the pride of the non-noble citizenry. I would say that many were greatly saddened when he died...although he died as proudly as he lived, doing what was most important to him. He died in battle, ne?"

"We are not sure of the exact circumstances," Byakuya sighed, "We only know that he was in a dangerous area of Hueco Mundo, and that he was in combat. His reiatsu vanished in that place, and he never returned, nor was he ever sensed again. No one knows how he died or who or what it was that killed him."

"That makes his death even harder to bear," Takumi acknowledged.

"He was only there instead of me because..."

Byakuya paused and swallowed hard.

"It was the day of my late wife's passing, and he offered to go so that I could go to visit her grave as I always do on that day. Otherwise, I would have been the one sent."

"I see. And I think that we can conclude that guilt has piled on top of the shock and devastation of losing him, resulting in the troubles you are facing."

"Yes."

Byakuya met Takumi's eyes curiously.

"So, do you still think that there is something you can do to assist me?" he asked.

Takumi surprised the clan leader again, by slipping warm, comforting hands into his.

"Of course I can help you," he assured the uncertain noble, "Our conversation just now was only to divine where to begin. And after your body has come to understand that you will no longer be abusing it with alcohol, we will begin on that path."

"Very well," said Byakuya, lowering his eyes, "So, what does that mean?"

Takumi stood, and Byakuya rose with him.

"Go and remove all of your clothing and accessories, and place them in that bag on the table. There is a yukata for you in the bathroom."

He waited silently, watching the bathroom door as Byakuya complied with the order, then returned with the bag in his hand. Takumi took the bag and nodded, then slipped a slim band onto the noble's wrist, sealing away his reiatsu.

"I am sorry, but the treatment you will undergo requires this."

"That is fine," Byakuya sighed.

"You are, for now, relieved of any responsibility these things denoted. For the moment, your one task will be regaining control of your body. And believe me, it will not be pleasant. You are likely to feel ill, to be in some amount of pain and to desire the thing you were leaning on. But be assured, as much as it feels like the world is ending and you are coming apart, what is really going to happen is that you will begin to put yourself back together. If you need me during the next few days, I will respond. Just...do not even ask for anything chemical. You must endure on the strength of your will alone."

"I understand," Byakuya said, watching as Takumi exited the chamber, locking the door behind him.

He stood outside the door for a moment, shaking his head sadly.

"I don't think you do understand," he whispered, "but in a few hours you are going to..."

XXXXXXXXXX

Aki felt a dark presence invade his sleep, and came to alertness instantly. He lifted his head and sensed someone approaching where he and Kisho laid on the ground, under the stars. A moment later, he recognized the man's reiatsu.

"Madoka," he said in a low voice, "What're you doing here? You said that I could have the weekend with him."

"Unfortunately, a client has made a very lucrative offer for you. You can return when you have seen to him."

"What? You want me to just leave like that? Look, you promised that..."

Aki gasped as the other man's hand took him by the throat, and his reiatsu rose dangerously.

"You are lucky I gave you any time at all. Now, if you want to come back and see him again, come with me."

"I'm not leaving the kid alone here!" Aki objected, "He needs to be taken home!"

"There isn't time," growled Madoka, "Leave him!"

"Hey!" Aki cried, "I'm not going to let him get killed just because you don't want to waste the time to take him home! I'll go with you, but we have to take him home...please!"

Madoka's eyes darkened and his reiatsu flickered, sending an icy shaft of fear through Aki's heart. But he resisted the numbing terror and clenched his hands stubbornly. After a few moments, Madoka's eyes calmed.

"Fine. Take him back. But you will pay for having been defiant, Aki. You know the rules. The clients decide when they want you, and you are to be where you are told, when you are told. If you want me to keep paying for his education, so that he will not end up a slutty little whore like you, then..."

"Don't you dare talk about him that way!" roared Kisho, launching himself at Madoka and hurling several rocks as he lunged forward.

"Kisho, don't!" Aki cried, stepping in between the two as Madoka launched a wicked looking thorn that sank, instead, into Aki's body.

"Aki!" Kisho screamed, catching the redhead as he collapsed.

Aki screamed in pain, still shielding Kisho, even as the other man stepped forward, shaking his head and scowling.

"Fool! You think that the two of you can stand up to me?"

A flash of power threw Aki and Kisho to the ground, leaving them unconscious. Madoka lifted Aki, then looked around, noting that several people seemed to be approaching. Carrying Aki, he disappeared in a blazing step, then turned back towards the lower districts.

"Stupid, stupid bastard!" Madoka hissed, clenching the redhead tightly, "If we lose money on this client, I will take it out of your body!"

He carried Aki back to the small house they shared and laid him in their bed, quickly healing his injuries and dressing him in a revealing yukata, leaving it partially opened to reveal Aki's muscular chest and spread thighs. He touched the other, raising his consciousness slightly, then setting his wrists and ankles in restraints.

"Just see that you give Fukuda-san a good time, or I will just kill you and have done with this. I don't know why I put up with you!"

Aki groaned as he left the room, and tried to sit up, then realized his position.

"F-fuck!" he swore, "Kisho...!"

He had little time to consider the boy's fate as the door opened and a large, brutal looking man with deepset black eyes and rough features entered. He fixed his feral gaze on the restrained man, approaching him slowly and sitting down on the bed.

"Madoka was right. You are a looker, aren't you?" the man said in a low, guttural voice.

"I wouldn't know," Aki said softly, "I can't see."

"Hmmm," the bigger man chuckled darkly, glaring down at him, "It is probably better that way. You don't want to know what I'm going to do to that sinful little body of yours!"

Aki swallowed hard, bracing himself as he heard the man disrobe, then felt him lie down next to him. His thighs quivered involuntarily as hard, barely wetted fingers began to explore his nether region. The man leaned over him and his foul tongue ran along the redhead's trembling lips. He wanted to gag at the man's fetid breath and hated the feel of being touched by him. He was only able to hold still as the touches on his body grew more invasive and horridly painful, because he fixed Kisho's presence in his mind and faded away from the room while his body was viciously assaulted and left a shivering, panting wreck.

And when the man left and Madoka came into the room to release him, Aki bent over the edge of the bed and threw up onto the floor. He couldn't retreat quickly enough to the shower to wash the man's awful scent and body fluids away. Rage and disgust warred inside him, leaving him leaned against the shower wall and nearly in tears. He was ready to just surrender to them when Madoka slipped into the shower and wrapped his arms around him.

"You did well," he purred contentedly, licking Aki's ear and sliding a hand down to caress his soapy privates, "Fukuda-san was very satisfied with you. He will be back weekly to visit. That is quite a substantial amount of money, Aki...perhaps enough that I will forget your defiance earlier."

He ran his fingers through the redhead's damp hair and dragged him down onto his knees.

"Now, I need some relaxation."

Aki's stomach quailed, but he knew the futility of trying to escape the inevitable. He yielded obediently, hating himself for allowing himself to be used that way.

_But I don't know how to get away from him. I tried running and he found me every time. And every time, the punishment grew worse. There's nothing I can do! I just have to go along until Kisho's older. Maybe...maybe when he's older, I can find someone to unlock his powers. At least then, he could escape. I don't think I can trust Madoka to let him go. I think it's only a matter of time before he thinks he can use my son the way he uses me. I won't let that happen, damn it! I'm not going to let that happen!_

Aki closed his eyes tightly and swallowed repeatedly as Madoka groaned and loosed his thick release. He kneaded his fingers into Aki's red hair and dragged him to his feet for several deep, hard kisses, then relaxed as Aki soaped his hands and washed his master's body slowly, from head to toe. He tried to picture what the man looked like...very long, thick hair, a thin face that he knew Madoka kept half-covered, because of some deformity to the area. Madoka's body, too, was heavily scarred and damaged, although he had never once explained how he had been so injured.

_Who the fuck is this guy anyway? _Aki wondered as he finished washing Madoka, then was forced back against the wall and his body invaded forcefully, _I wonder sometimes if he has ever told me the truth about anything! But, I guess the way things are, he doesn't have to give explanations._

_Damn, I hate being weak!_

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya woke for what seemed to be the fourth or fifth time, his head pounding, his heart racing and his stomach so tormented that he barely made it to the bathroom before surrendering for the third time to illness. He vomited violently, holding his midsection tightly and then collapsing against the wall, panting and shaking. His mouth felt uncomfortably dry, but he couldn't stomach the idea of drinking anything that didn't burn his insides. Anything else, he was sure, would be expelled immediately. So, achingly thirsty and bearing an ungodly weight of pain, he tried to distract himself with something...anything pleasant.

Unfortunately, the pleasant thing that came to mind was also the thing that had driven him to alcohol dependence, and thinking of that person only made him long to drown the pain in sake, as he had been doing for years. He groaned and considered dragging himself back to bed, but hated the thought of the ones he knew watched him, seeing him crawl like that. Instead, he rested with his face against the cool tile wall and tried to think of the gardens at the manor. But to his dismay, doing that only reminded him...

_"You are late, Renji," he commented quietly, "You know I do not like to be kept waiting."_

_He turned and blinked in surprise at the fact Renji was wearing a kimono that he knew to be Tetsuya's. He frowned questioningly._

_"Oh," said the redhead, "Tetsuya's fleabag horse just decided to introduce me personally to the koi pond."_

_"I see," he replied, trying hard not to smile, "I hope you scolded him properly."_

_"Like that would do any good," Renji laughed, rolling his eyes, "But yeah, I told him off good. And Tetsuya loaned me this for our date. Sorry I made you wait."_

_He gave in, then, to another strong impulse to smile as Renji approached him._

_"You look...really...really beautiful, Byakuya taichou."_

_He moved closer to the redhead, gazing slightly upward, into Renji's affectionate, red-brown eyes and feeling his heart throb painfully as Renji's warm, masculine scent struck his senses forcefully._

_"Renji, just call me Byakuya," he corrected the redhead, slowly erasing the distance between them and sinking into Renji's arms._

_His heart pounded fitfully as Renji's calloused fingers threaded into his hair, and a rough hand curved gently around his cheek. And Renji's warm lips were rough too, rough and deeply affectionate as they met his. The other man's hot, red tongue slipped between his slightly parted lips, thrusting in deeply and savoring him._

_"Renji!" he managed as they parted for a quick breath, before locking their mouths together more forcefully and tightening their hold on each other._

_He escaped the redhead's mouth again and pushed away slightly._

_"I thought that, now that you were being installed as a taichou, you wanted to appear in public together and dance with me at the banquet tonight."_

_Renji grinned and pushed him back against a sakura tree, pressing up against him and kissing him again._

_"Forget the banquet," he sighed, "The only person I want to see is you, and the only dancing I want to do is the kind you don't do in public, if you know what I mean..."_

_"I understand," the noble said, blushing, "But..."_

Byakuya snapped suddenly out of his reverie, realizing that a low sound of agony had escaped him. He blinked and realized, to his dismay that several tears had leaked onto his face. He turned his face more towards the wall and tried to force Renji's handsome face and deep, rumbling voice out of his mind. But the more stubbornly he tried to hold everything in, the more burdensome the emotions became. He felt his reiatsu flicker beneath the seal, and wondered if there was anything that could hold the emotion back. He closed his eyes against the gripping pain, groaning again and feeling his powers begin to throb beneath the seal again. And finally, the band on his slender wrist shattered, and his reiatsu exploded around him.

He heard the sound of pounding feet in the hallway, then his bedroom door was thrown open, and a group of the facility's staff burst in. They ran into the bathroom, and a hail of measured kido strikes sent the out of control noble to the flloor, reducing him to unconsciousness.

"Damn!" Takumi said, shaking his head, "That was the strongest restraint we have."

He gazed down at the collapsed noble and sighed.

"I imagine there is no choice but to keep him under until the toxins are worked out of his system. Use kido, no drugs, and inform me at once if he becomes combative. The most dangerous times will be when he is dreaming, so be sure to keep his powers sealed. If the seal breaks again, replace it. We'll get him through this."

He sighed again, wearily and slipped out the door.

"And then, the real work begins," he whispered softly.


	4. Growing

**Chapter 4: Growing**

**(Thanks so much to Purple Light Snow (Ah yes, they will meet very soon, under surprising circumstances...), Snowflowersister of Toshiro241 (Yup! Aki is actually Renji, but you are about to learn how much he has changed since he disappeared), Walkure (Oh, if things were only that simple. But the law works differently, here at the mid-Rukon...), Kyuumihaira (Actually, it's got to be a little different to house such powerful addicts and treat them. It seems harsh at times, but it's for their own good.), Cody Zik (Madoka is a creepy bastard, and he has twisted poor Renji into some serious knots. Luckily, Byakuya is very good at untangling knots!), Airenya (More about Madoka will be revealed, as well as why no one has recognized Renji. But what to do to fix things! There is real danger in trying. Madoka is a dangerous man.), Alabirdie (Aww, thanks so much! Renji and Byakuya will be getting a start of sorts in this chapter. Enjoy!), Renji-Bya-Lover (Oh, they will meet, but there is something unusual going on that will make things...interesting!), MissLilly2012 (Well, here's more to enjoy!), Nyma (Oh, I think he will be in for a few surprises!), Henka-Chan (I am so glad you are enjoying this one!), BunnyHopster26 (Oh yes, I am not holding back on the punches in this. They are really going to have to work for this one!), Irockyourworld123 (Oh, are you an artist? Do you ever do fanart? If so, I am on Deviantart...not an artist, myself, but I fave a lot of good artists there! I very much encourage fanart! Go for it, guys! I would love to see someone's image of Renji as he is in this fic...and there's about to be a more direct description in this chapter!), **

Byakuya emerged from sleep with the heavy, odd sensation of having greatly exerted himself. He opened his eyes and squinted at the light coming in through the window in his room, then tried to sit up and realized that he had been placed in restraints.

"Wh-what is...?" he began groggily.

"Easy now, youngster," chuckled a grizzled looking, old man who looked down at him through oddly lively light blue eyes, "You've had a rough go of it, but you're all right now."

"But what happened?" Byakuya asked, watching as the man released his restraints, "I remember being ill, but..."

"But you probably don't remember your taichou class reiatsu going haywire and giving the nice folks here at the rehab center a good bit of trouble. You'll notice that you're not in the room you were in. You kept breaking the seal on your powers and busted up your room pretty handily. That's when they called me. I have some experience handling young upstarts with strong reiatsu."

The man leaned forward and helped the noble sit up, chuckling sympathetically as Byakuya groaned and put a hand to his head.

"Oh!"

"I'll give you a pain block for that," the healer offered, smiling as the flustered noble hastily nodded, then flinched.

The healer touched his fingers to Byakuya's forehead, then his temples, infusing the area with warm, soothing reiatsu.

"Oh...kami, thank you," Byakuya sighed, as the throbbing in his head eased.

He looked up at the healer questioningly.

"The name is Michio," the healer told him, "I live in the next district, but I serve several towns, and I have a special interest in the center, as they've helped a few of my friends and former wards out in the past."

"W-wards?" Byakuya queried, blinking.

"Yes," Michio replied, "My wife, Noa, and I also run a small boarding school for children who show promise in the healing arts."

Michio paused as the bedroom door opened, and a little boy who looked to be about seven or eight, entered the room, carrying several herbs in his hands.

"Ah, my boy, arigato."

He nodded briefly in the direction of the youngster.

"This is Kisho. He is one of our students, and has been helping me to tend to you."

He turned his head to look at the smiling red haired youth.

"Did you find the passionflower?"

"I couldn't find any," Kisho answered, "But the garden did have lavender, peppermint and feverfew. I brought those. I found some fresh ginger as well."

"Ah, good boy. Very good."

"I do not know if it will help, but I did see some passionflower on the way in, near the entry road, on the west side."

"Hmmm," mused Michio, "You know something about plants, youngster?"

Byakuya nodded.

"My father was gifted in making things grow. I seem to have inherited his gift."

"That's good," Michio chuckled, "Well, then. Do you think as your task while you are here, you could tend the gardens? I have need of a supply of healing plants and flowers to keep my medicines fresh."

"M-my task?" Byakuya repeated, looking confused.

"Oh yes, you're new," Michio concluded, "But they will tell you soon. As part of your therapy, all patients contribute to the work that needs to be done about the place. Some cook, some clean, and others perform jobs around the center. I don't know what your counselor had planned for you, but I will ask him to have you grow plants and herbs for me. Will that be all right, Byakuya?"

"Yes, I would like that. It would be good to know that the ability that my father passed on to me was being put to good use."

"Fine then," Michio said, picking up his medical bag and standing, "Our Kisho will come once a week to assist you. He will bring my orders and help you manage the garden. Perhaps, since you seem to have considerable knowledge, you could pass on some of what you know."

Byakuya looked into Kisho's wide, gray eyes, feeling an odd sense of familiarity. Kisho smiled back at him and handed him a fresh cup of hot green tea.

"Arigato," Byakuya said, accepting the tea, "I shall look forward to your visits, Kisho."

"Me too...ah...erm...?"

"Byakuya."

The boy's eyes widened.

"Like the Kuchiki clan leader?" he asked.

Byakuya sighed.

"One and the same," he admitted softly.

"But," Kisho said, looking confused, "you are a powerful clan leader, a taichou! Why are you here?"

"Kisho," Michio said softly, "It isn't proper to ask such a question. Come now. We must leave Byakuya-sama to..."

"Please, just call me Byakuya," the noble said, making the old man freeze and stare back at him in surprise.

Byakuya looked calmly down into Kisho's eyes.

"I am here because a close friend of mine died, and I made the poor choice of using alcohol to numb the pain," he explained, "As a young healer, you doubtless already know there are a lot of people here who have made the same poor choice."

Kisho stared back at him wordlessly and Michio gave him a look of regret.

"Emotional pain, it seems, does not differentiate between classes," Byakuya went on, "And like the others here, I have chosen to change the way I am facing my friend's passing. That is why I am here, Kisho."

"I'm sorry about your friend, Kuchiki-sama," Kisho said kindly, "A hollow came into the school one time when I was littler, and it killed a boy I knew. He was really nice and it made me cry when he died."

"I am sorry for your loss, Kisho," Byakuya said softly.

"I have made some new friends," Kisho went on, "and it helps me to not feel so alone. Maybe if you find some new friends, it won't make you forget your friend who died, but it might make you feel better."

Byakuya managed a small smile.

"I think I may already have made a new friend," he commented.

Michio smiled in approval.

"Well now, we have to be going. But Kisho will be back soon with my next order."

"I will make sure to start a few things that you will probably need."

"Thank you, Byakuya."

The two started to leave the room, but then Kisho turned back and handed Byakuya one of the herbs he had been carrying.

"Those are peppermint leaves," he said, smiling, "They are good for..."

"Stomach trouble and headaches," Byakuya finished, "Arigato, Kisho. I shall look forward to seeing you again."

"Goodbye, Kuchiki-sama!"

Byakuya watched the two leave his room, then sipped at his tea and looked quietly out the window. A few minutes later, Takumi knocked lightly on the door frame, then entered the room.

"Ah, you are looking better," he commented, "Although, as poorly as you looked while ridding your body of that poison, anything would be an improvement, ne?"

"Most likely," Byakuya sighed.

"I just spoke with Michio and I have okayed your working in the gardens. I think it would be a good task for you, helping you to be calm and reflective, while also blessing our facility with someone with real ability to make things grow. This is acceptable to you?"

"Yes, it is fine."

Takumi moved forward, into the room and handed the noble a set of papers.

"That is your counseling schedule, and includes your meetings with me, weekly group meetings, duties you will perform and the rules for visitation. Having spent most of the first week unconscious, you need only wait one more week before receiving visitors. Do you have any questions?"

"No, everything seems clear enough," Byakuya said quietly.

"You have some free time today," the counselor went on, "On the last page is a list of activities available, as well as schedules and directions for attending them. If there is nothing else you need, then I will see you after lunch for your first counseling session."

"Very well," Byakuya answered, taking a sip of tea.

Takumi nodded briefly and exited the room.

Byakuya ate in silence, missing as he did, the sweet fragrances of his home gardens and the familiar presence of his household staff. Tetsuya's absence was most noticeable, as his cousin and bodyguard was almost always close by, even if unseen. His newfound solitude, though not horribly uncomfortable, left him with too much time for thinking.

Oddly, what returned to his mind was the old healer and the small boy who had come along to assist him.

_But then, it was probably the boy's red hair that caught my attention. I do tend to see in every little red-haired child, the child we might have had. If..._

He pushed the thought out of his mind and climbed out of bed, moving to the closet and finding a fresh yukata. He showered and dressed, then left his room and made his way down to the facility gardens.

"Oi there," said a friendly male voice, "You must be Kuchiki-san."

"I am."

"I am Nobu, the groundskeeper," the somewhat grizzled, brown haired man said, removing a garden glove and extending a hand in greeting, which Byakuya accepted quietly, "Takumi-san has told me that you are going to be helping out with the gardens. They're not so much to look at right now. I have a lot of other things I do, so don't get to the gardening so much. But you're supposed to be pretty good at it. Just give me a list of what you'll need and I'll provide it."

Relieved at being given something useful to do, Byakuya turned his focus to the landscape and studied the garden sections carefully, before communicating his needs to the groundskeeper. The old man wrote down the needed items and left the noble working silently on a section of plants the healer had asked for. It was nearing lunchtime when he heard a stirring in the bushes and looked up to find a pair of wide gray eyes peeking at him out from under a tumble of flaming red hair.

"Kisho?"

"Hello, Kuchiki-sama," the boy said, smiling, "Michio-san asked me to come back and find you. There is a bad flu going through the area and he needs several herbs for his remedies. Here is the list."

Byakuya accepted the list of herbs and led the boy into the area of the gardens where they grew.

"So, how long have you studied with Michio as a healer?" the noble asked as they walked.

"I started three years ago," the boy told him, "You have to be five to get in. My dad...erm, well, he's not really my dad, but Aki, my guardian, works to pay so I can go there."

"Ah, I see. That is kind of him."

"He's really nice, but he lives with a horrible man who wears a scarf over his face all of the time, and people say his face is mangled up, but they don't know from what. But he makes Aki work too hard and hardly lets him come to the school. And when he does, sometimes he comes and tells him he has to go back way before he was supposed to. Aki says that work just gets busy, but I can tell he doesn't like it."

Byakuya smiled briefly at the boy's eagerness to share and nodded at the section of the gardens they had reached.

"I think we'll find everything here."

The two spent the next hour gathering the requested herbs, then Byakuya loaded them into a sack and began to hand it to the boy. As he did, a hand reached out and took the sack from his.

Byakuya looked up, startled at how the limiter on his powers had blinded him to the man's approach. The sun struck his eyes for a moment, and he felt a jolt pass through his midsection.

"Renji..." he whispered breathlessly.

Then, he turned slightly and began to see the notable differences, the lack of shine in the short red hair, the thinner face and less muscular body. His eyes were the right color, but where Renji's had always exuded confidence and growing power, Byakuya read great pain behind this man's paler features. And where Renji had been covered in Zabimaru's dark, bold tattoos, this man's skin was not marked in any way. A moment later, he spotted an odd cloudiness to the man's eyes and realized that he looked to be blind. Even so, he seemed to function extremely well, perhaps, Byakuya thought, using reiatsu to help him find his way about comfortably.

"The name's Aki," the man said, extending a hand.

"Aki!" cried Kisho, running to the man and leaping into his arms for a hug, "I was worried! That bastard, Madoka, took you away in the middle of the night last time! You didn't even get to say goodbye!"

"Hey, watch your mouth," Aki said, shaking his head.

"Aki, this is Kuchiki Byakuya, a real noble clan leader!" Kisho exclaimed.

"Is he..." the red haired man said, frowning, "Hey kid, take the stuff and hurry on to meet Michio-san. There's a whole family that's down with the flu and he needs those things pronto."

"Okay!" Kisho said, flash stepping away and leaving the two men facing each other.

Byakuya regarded Aki quietly, watching as the redhead's clouded eyes darkened slightly.

"Just so you know, Kisho's a good, unspoiled kid. We don't have a lot of money, but we've raised him to be a strong person and to take pride in himself."

"And?"

"And," Aki said, narrowing his eyes, "if you do anything to mess with that, I'll see to it he's yanked out of here so fast that your head will spin. I don't like your kind."

"What kind is that?" Byakuya asked, his eyes fixing on Aki's.

"You know what I'm talking about," Aki said, stiffening, "Nobles who think they're better than the rest of us. I think maybe the fact that you're here should remind you that you're not. You're down here in our town now, and from the looks of things, you're not exactly at the top of your game. Teach the kid what you know about gardening, and leave it at that. Don't ask him any questions and don't get involved. I don't want him being changed by someone like you."

"That is a bold statement," Byakuya said, still maintaining his calm, "considering that you do not know me at all."

"What's to know?" Aki said coldly, "If you've seen one noble, you've seen them all...beautiful faces, evil tongues and no heart, like a hollow."

"I am glad to see that while you have passed on many things to the boy, that your intolerance is not one of them," Byakuya commented, "Now..."

"Excuse me," Takumi interrupted, making Byakuya go silent and causing Aki to stiffen and radiate even more defensiveness, "but you have not checked in with the front desk, Aki-san. In fact, I don't know why you're here."

"I was here to get Kisho," Aki answered shortly.

"Well, see that you check in properly next time. This man is currently not allowed visitors."

"But they let Kisho see him," Aki observed, "Why is that? If he's dangerous in some way, then Kisho doesn't belong anywhere near him!"

"I never said he was dangerous. If he was, then the boy wouldn't have come near him. Byakuya-san is assisting Michio-san with his healing herbs and the boy is assisting. In any case, none of this has anything to do with you, so if you will excuse us..."

Aki glowered at the two for a moment, then stalked away. Takumi turned and gave Byakuya a sympathetic look.

"My apologies for the failure of our security to stop him from annoying you. That man is Kisho's guardian. Fortunately for the boy, he isn't around too much. I will have the staff watch out for him in the future, especially when Kisho is here."

"He seems to care deeply for the boy," Byakuya noted, "He was rude, but he seemed just to be protective."

"He is not the kind of person you want to associate with, Byakuya," Takumi said warningly, "You are usually shielded from such types, in your manor with all of you staff around you, so you don't know."

"I'm not sure I understand you."

Takumi let out a disgusted breath.

"Aki is a male prostitute, owned by a man in the next town. And as rough mannered as Aki is, Madoka is even worse. He would kill you as soon as look at you. The only reason anyone even associates with him is because he sells them time with Aki. These, as you can see, are not the kind of people you want to get involved with while you are recovering. Take my advice. Avoid that man. You don't want his kind of trouble."

Takumi shook his head and sighed.

"Ah, I am sorry. I had come to see why you hadn't come back for lunch. Our counseling session is supposed to begin soon. We can eat in my office while we talk, if you like."

"That would be fine," Byakuya said, following Takumi back in the direction of the center.

But as he walked, his mind was farthest from wondering what would take place in his counseling.

_I cannot help but worry for Kisho, being close to such dangers. But what can I do? I left my authority and powers behind when I entered this place. At very least, he is with Michio and not near that wicked man, Madoka. Yes, Kisho is safe enough, and it is not my business to involve myself._

But something inside him warned that his and Aki's meeting in the gardens wouldn't be the end of things.


	5. Making Things Grow

**Chapter 5: Making Things Grow**

**(Thanks a million to Walkure (Oh, he's starting to get the idea something's not right!), Cody Zik (Oh, I'm sure that they will find their way, but yes, they will butt heads while they work things out.), Nyma (More is delivered! Enjoy!), phAnt0mgh0st7018 (Yes, Madoka is horrid, and his display of that is just beginning!), Guest (Here you go!), Purple Light Snow (You've got it! And more is coming soon!), Emmagem803 (And the story goes on!), Renji-Bya-Lover (Oh, there are a few shocks on the way!), MissLilly2012 (Yeah, treatment for emotional or substance issues is really hard. A friend of mine went through that. But sometimes we all just need a little help finding our way. Byakuya is actually among very caring people, so he is getting the help he really needs. But Renji is going to help even more!), Kyuumihaira (Yup! And he is going to be interacting with them quite a bit from now on. But...oh, just wait until he meets Madoka!), NamineLily (Byakuya will bond with Kisho, but he will also be in Aki/Renji's orbit, so there will be some fireworks going on there!), KarenaAngel1986 (Ah yes, so many questions! Madoka is going to get a glimpse of Byakuya soon and things will really ignite!), and Alabirdie (Byakuya will have to step carefully to get around Aki's hurt pride, but he will make some overtures and Aki will begin to be very affected.). Enjoy the chapter! Love Spunky)**

"Watch this," Byakuya said quietly, taking a seed from the ones he had brought with him into the rehabilitation center's gardens, and planting it carefully in the ground.

"What are you going to do?" Kisho asked, his wide gray eyes focusing intently on Byakuya's hands as the Kuchiki heir laid his palms on the ground over the planted seed and focused.

"You have asked several times in the past few weeks how we are able to make the flowers and plants at Kuchiki Manor grow so beautifully. Before I could answer that question for you, I needed to show you how we are connected to the things that grow from the earth. Only once one realizes how those two things are connected can one make use of the connection to make things grow to their full potential. Now, you have told me that you have some healing power, ne?"

"Yes, Kuchiki-sama."

"The power that I am going to use is not kido based, but innate, meaning that one does not need to have shinigami power, but only this innate ability. We can find out right now if such a thing is natural to you. First, watch me."

Kisho gazed intently at the clan leader as he focused on where he had placed his hands, and a soft, white glow rose up around them. And as the two watched, the ground warmed and darkened slightly beneath his hands, and a tender green stem slowly emerged from where he had planted the seed...rising until two tiny leaves uncurled and a new bud formed.

"W-wow!" Kisho breathed, "I never saw anyone do that before!"

"As I said, this method is how we grow each plant within the gardens. This gives them a good start and it helps the ones who care for the gardens to be sensitive to each plant's needs as they grow. But you will feel that connection as you try the method for yourself."

"Okay!" Kisho said excitedly, "Can I try now?"

"Yes," Byakuya said, nodding, "First, place a hand on your tummy, just under your belly button. Your core spirit center is located there, and placing your hand over it will let you feel it working as you do this."

He waited as the boy complied, then took Kisho's other hand and laid it over a freshly planted seed.

"Now, sometimes, the first time, it helps to close your eyes to get started, and you will open them as soon as you feel the power begin to flow through you. Go ahead and focus on the seed and try it."

Byakuya watched the boy closely as his head bowed and his eyes closed. He breathed slowly and pictured the seed in his mind, imagining the soft light rising around his hands and helping the young plant to emerge. A moment later, Byakuya felt a shift in the energies around them, and he touched Kisho lightly on the shoulder.

"Open your eyes, but do not lose your focus now."

The boy's gray eyes opened slowly, then widened in surprise and excitement as he spotted the gentle light rising around his extended hand.

"I'm doing it!" he gasped softly, "It's really working, Kuchiki-sama! I have growing power!"

"You do," Byakuya agreed, "You have significant, innate ability to make things grow. That is very good."

Byakuya paused for a moment, sensing something else in the power around the boy and frowning curiously.

"Kisho, have you had any signs of developing shinigami power? Has your appetite increased a lot or have you been able to summon a kido sphere. Anything like that?"

"No," Kisho sighed, "Sometimes I think I feel something, but it's weird. It feels like something is going to happen, but it doesn't. I don't know what that means."

Byakuya kept a hand rested on the boy's shoulder as Kisho focused on another planted seed and invoked the growing power again. The clan leader slowly sensed the presence of each spirit center and felt a soft jolt of curiosity at the result. He was careful not to alert the boy to his suspicions, but mulled over what to do as the two continued to work together in the gardens. His mind was still preoccupied with the matter, even after Kisho had left with the latest set of orders for the healer, and Byakuya returned to his room to clean up for lunch.

As he walked towards the dining room, Takumi approached him, wearing a pleased smile.

"Byakuya," he greeted the noble, "I was hoping that I would find you here. I wanted to sit down with you and discuss your progress for a bit. Do you have time now?"

"Of course," Byakuya said, falling in with the counselor.

The two walked into the lunchroom together and made their selections, then chose a quiet area, away from anyone else to sit and eat while they talked.

"I have spoken with the other counselors involved in your treatment, and we all agree, you are making excellent progress in your recovery," Takumi said in a pleased voice, "You have been completely dedicated to seeing to each task that we have asked of you and have slowly adjusted to using the strategies that we have been teaching you. Also, although you seem to be a more quiet person, you have done well in group therapy as well. You are still a bit shy about initiating contact with others, but you have often provided helpful insights to others who were struggling with issues similar to yours. You are more reluctant to accept help, but you are also wise enough to do that when you find yourself in need. And you seem more confident, overall, in your ability to cope. The rest of your treatment team and I have decided to graduate you to the next level of treatment...the beginning of reintegration."

"Reintegration?" Byakuya repeated questioningly, "What does that entail?"

"Your situation will change slightly to start to put you back in contact with everyday life, starting with the privilege of being allowed entry and exit privileges during the day to the town we are near. During daylight hours on any day, you may visit the nearby town to do such things as visit for recreation or to purchase things that we do not provide here. The important rules your new freedoms depend on are these. First, you are only allowed to leave during the day and you must return by dinner time. Secondly, you are not allowed to purchase or use any type of drug, including alcohol, and you will be tested regularly for the presence of those substances. When you have completed this part of your treatment, you will begin to be reintegrated back into your life in the Seireitei. The step after this will be short visits home, then living at home and spending weekends here, after which you will be fully released and only require periodic monitoring and follow up. But, here is where we will start. You turned in a list of items you needed from in town. We have an account with the merchant, Nobu, there. Today, you will go and purchase the items yourself. You are welcome to do other things while you are out, if you wish. Just be back by dinner time."

"I will," Byakuya responded, smiling to himself at the prospect of that lessening of the restrictions around him.

"Only remember not to enter the bars or go to where the drug merchants are," Takumi instructed him, "Enjoy yourself. Think of this as a reward for your efforts so far."

"Arigato," Byakuya said, nodding.

The two finished their meal, then Takumi left to return to his office and Byakuya retired to his room to change out of the standard issue yukata that all patients wore, and into more appropriate street clothes. He left his room and checked out at the entrance to the facility, then followed the path into town, enjoying the different scenery and sounds. He scented hot food and spotted several vendors, then located the merchant he had been seeking and turned in that direction. He purchased the gardening items he needed, then walked about the small town for a time, making himself familiar with the area before turning back and starting in the direction of the treatment center.

"Huh, what are _you_ doing here?" a cynical male voice asked, making him pause and look around.

He spotted Aki standing a short distance from him, wearing a disapproving expression on his handsome face.

"Did they let you out, or did you just escape?" the red haired man went on, crossing his arms.

"I have progressed in my treatment to the point where I am given the privilege of visiting the town during the day. I am surprised to see you here, Aki. How are you? Kisho told me that you had been ill and hadn't been able to come to see him for a time. I am glad to see you are better."

"Are you?" the other man said, doubt plain in his voice.

He came closer and fell in with the noble as he took the path leading out of town.

"I've been nearby, listening in on you while he was there with you," Aki said confrontationally, "I thought you should know that."

"I understand," Byakuya said calmly, "I have sensed you, now and again. If you wish to come with Aki when he assists me, you are welcome to join him. I wouldn't mind."

"Yeah?" Aki chuckled sarcastically, "Well, _you_ might not mind, but the shrinks over there don't have much of a use for me, and really, I'm not all that interested in me or Kisho being around you. I'm only allowing this because Michio said that your ability will be useful to Kisho. So, you teach him about growing things and that's where it ends. Got it?"

Byakuya considered Aki's words, then shook his head and frowned.

"Aki, I noticed today that Kisho has a well developed set of spirit centers. He does have the innate growing ability, but he also should be showing signs of shinigami ability. Have you...?"

He broke off as Aki stopped and suddenly turned, and shoved him up against a tree. And although he could easily have resisted, Byakuya reacted calmly, gazing quietly at the blind man's face as he launched into a furious tirade.

"You see, _this _is what I mean by you not sticking your nose in. Kisho is a _healer_, and that's the end of it. He isn't going to join the shinigami academy. He's never going to be like those people. Kisho is going to stay right here and he is going to be a healer in the Rukongai. That's his future. He doesn't need to run off and live in that place around people who will look down on him."

"But it doesn't have to be like that," Byakuya assured the other man, "Aki, I have been concerned about the two of you."

"You don't have to be. We can take care of ourselves. We don't need you to get involved."

"I am already involved. Kisho spends a lot of time at the center."

"Yeah, well, that can stop at any time I say, so don't get to thinking that you can start calling the shots, okay?"

"I am not trying to tell you what to do," Byakuya said, shaking his head, "I am offering you and Kisho an opportunity."

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

Byakuya laid a hand on Aki's shoulder for a moment, then flinched and stared at the unusual feeling that passed over him.

_What is this?_

_There is spiritual pressure around him, but something feels strange..._

He thought back to when he had touched Kisho to sense his spirit centers and had encountered something similar.

"Aki," he went on, still trying inside to make sense of what he had felt, "I have given this a lot of thought, and I want to help you and Kisho."

"I told you, we don't need your help," Aki argued.

"I know that you feel that way now, but I want you to give my offer some thought, please."

Aki let out a piqued breath, but allowed him to continue.

"I am progressing in my treatment, and soon, I should be returning to my home in the Seireitei. I would like your permission to have Kisho mentored by my own gardeners and the Kuchiki clan healer. I think that Kisho has significant ability and would grow exponentially, given that kind of environment."

"You want to take Kisho away from me?" Aki asked, his temper flaring again and his reiatsu beginning to swell around him.

And again, Byakuya felt something odd in the reiatsu around the man.

"I do not want to take the boy away from you," Byakuya explained, "I only want to offer him the best possible environment for the development of his ability. You would both be housed at Kuchiki Manor."

"What would someone like _me_ do in that place?" Aki snapped, "Give some freebies to your family and guests? Forget it. You know what kind of person I am. I would be thrown out of a place like that. And Kisho...he doesn't need to be around people like that, who would make him feel inferior. The boy is fine where he is, with the future he has, get it?"

"He could have a better future, one that would allow him to..."

"Hey!" Aki said, surprising the noble by shoving him roughly back against the tree again, "I told you no. So, forget it! It isn't going to happen. Kisho is staying here, with me."

Byakuya took a steadying breath and held perfectly still.

"Aki, if you are saying this because you are concerned about your...about that man, Madoka, that Kisho told me about, you don't have to stay with him anymore. I am sure that he would part with you if I..."

"Oh, so now you want to buy me?"

"No!"

"Well, forget it! You wouldn't want to own a guy like me!" Aki fumed, grabbing the front of Byakuya's clothes and yanking him closer, "I'm good at one thing, and it isn't growing plants, see?"

Byakuya froze as the other man's body pressed forward, forcing him back harder against the tree at the side of the road. Aki's mouth fastened on his, and his tongue thrust suddenly between Byakuya's parted lips. The noble made a sound of distress, but was held firmly in place as Aki's mouth tormented his with a long, blazing kiss and his hand slid down beneath Byakuya's clothes to tease his warm, soft privates.

"Aki, stop!" Byakuya objected, turning his head aside and shoving the red haired man away, "I would never use another person that way!"

"Then, you have no use for me," Aki spat angrily, "I am a prostitute, and that's all I know how to be. I know my place. Kisho knows his, and you should fucking learn _yours_! Go back to that center, straighten yourself out and get the hell back to where you belong, _noble_. And leave my kid alone! I don't want him being confused by a bastard like you!"

Byakuya stiffened as the last few words repeated oddly in his mind, and he was violently thrust backwards in time to where he had heard similar words before.

_He lifted himself onto his hands and knees, blood leaking from nearly everywhere as the quincy moved towards him, closing in on him again._

_"There is nothing that you can do," As Nodt said calmly, "But you know that. No shinigami can defeat his own bankai with his shikai. It's not possible."_

_A shadow passed over the two suddenly and Renji's battle cry sounded, then the redhead's words echoed in Byakuya's ear._

_"A bastard like you doesn't deserve to wield Senbonzakura!" he screamed, bringing Zabimaru down._

"Renji, no!" Byakuya cried, dropping to his knees and clenching at the ground.

"What the..." Aki said, stepping back, "Hey, are you okay?"

Byakuya swallowed hard, his breath coming in short, hard gasps and his head swimming. The air went dim around him and he felt himself start to collapse. Aki's voice still sounded dimly in his mind, sending fresh memories of Renji through him and leaving him senseless. He felt himself being lifted and heard Aki's voice again.

"I'll take you home, okay?"

He was dimly aware of being carried for a time, then being placed in a bed in the center infirmary. Voices sounded around him, but he couldn't make sense of them. Takumi's voice cut through for just a moment, reassuring him, then a soft throb of kido made everything disappear.

"You'll be okay," Takumi said quietly, squeezing the dazed noble's hand gently, "We'll figure out what happened. Just rest for a while."

"R-renji," Byakuya whispered, making Takumi stare down at him questioningly, "I heard his voice."

XXXXXXXXXX

Outside the center, Aki frowned in frustration, biting at his lips and debating what to do next.

"Damn," he sighed, "What the hell..."

He stiffened as he suddenly felt Madoka's presence, and the man's hand came down on his shoulder.

"What are you doing here?" Madoka asked, narrowing his eyes, "Why did you come here?"

"Oh, Kisho's doing some...ah...some training, gardening, with some guy in there. I was just...making sure that everything was...okay with that. No worries. But, why are you here? You said that I could stay for another day."

"Well, plans have changed. Your favorite client is having an important guest and wants to 'introduce' him to you."

"Aww, Madoka, you know I fucking hate it when there's more than one. And that guy's a fucking creep! You know what kind of perverted shit he likes! It took me a week to recover from just him last time! And now he wants to bring a friend?"

"Stop complaining," Madoka said shortly, "And come along. We need to get a few things and get back. Do a good job with them and I will let you come back in the morning, so your boy won't even know you were gone. Resist and it will be a month before I let you see him again."

"Fine," Aki sighed, deflating at the threat, "I'll...I'll come with you. It's fine."

He sighed again, remembering the warm, gentle feel of Byakuya's lips, and the kindness in his hands, even as he had resisted.

_Maybe I should have listened to him._

_Maybe some of them aren't like the guy who hurt me before..._

_Anything's fucking better than this, but...how in the hell would I ever get away from Madoka? The son of a bitch would kill me, then Kisho would be alone._

The memory of his exchange with the troubled noble persisted, even as Aki returned home and surrendered his body to the two men Madoka had sold his time to. He drifted out of his plundered form, imagining that it was Byakuya, and that his gentle hands were undressing him and touching him all over.

_But I could never be good enough for someone like him. This is all that there is for me. I should just stop daydreaming and face the facts. I am a prostitute. Madoka owns me forever. _

_And I will do what I have to so that Kisho never has to live like this!_


	6. Touches of Memory

**Chapter 6: Touches of Memory**

**(Sorry, will have to catch up on shout outs next chapter. I'm working for the next few days and burning the candle at both ends. Thanks so much to everyone reading and reviewing. I very much appreciate it! :) Enjoy the chapter! Love, Spunky)**

Aki paused and took a steadying breath, then stepped forward, entering the rehabilitation center and approaching the front desk. He was oddly grateful for the fact he couldn't see how the receptionist was probably looking at him with disapproval in her eyes. But he heard it in her voice as she greeted him.

"Aki, how can I help you?" the woman asked, somewhat shortly.

"Ahm, I was just...I was wondering how Kuchiki Byakuya was doing. Could I maybe see him? I brought him in when he passed out the other day."

"I remember," the woman said off-handedly, "Kuchiki taichou is not able to have visitors right now, except for family."

"Yeah...I'm not family, but he mentors my son, and I was kinda worried when..."

"You will have to check back tomorrow," the woman said, dismissing him.

Aki sighed resignedly and started to turn away, when he heard a strangely familiar, delicate footstep and a soft catching of breath.

"Oh...sorry," said a youthful male voice, "You looked like someone I knew."

"Your voice sounds familiar," Aki said, frowning, "Who are you?"

"I am Kuchiki Tetsuya," the young man answered, "And you are?"

"I'm Aki. Byakuya-san mentors my son in gardening here. I was coming to see him, but I guess he's only able to have family visit."

"Well, I am family," Tetsuya said, "You may come in with me if you wish, but you should be aware he has not regained consciousness yet."

"What? He hasn't?" Aki asked worriedly, "Is he okay? I mean, I was with him when he passed out. We were just talking and he...he just said a name, _Renji_. Then, he passed out. Do they know what's wrong with him?"

Tetsuya sighed and the two started towards the infirmary together.

"They are not exactly sure," he explained, "He was semi-conscious for a short time and seemed to be saying that he heard Renji-san's voice. It occurs to me now that he might have been mistaking your voice for Renji-san's. Yours is quite similar to his. You are the same height as well."

"And Renji was a friend of his?" Aki asked, "S-sorry, if I am intruding. I just..."

"Renji-san was his fukutaichou. You know he is a taichou, ne?"

"Yeah. Kisho, my ward, told me."

"My cousin and Renji-san were very close," Tetsuya went on, "Renji-san was on the verge of becoming a taichou, and Byakuya-sama, having mentored him, was very proud. But sadly, Renji-san was killed while on a mission for their squad. That is what led to the circumstances that brought him here."

"Wow," Aki said sadly, "That's really sad. He seemed to be recovering well, though. They were letting him come into town, you know, giving him more privileges he told me."

"Yes, he was coming along well," Tetsuya confirmed, "which is why it struck all of us as very odd that he would lose consciousness like this. But the counselors tell us that his healers can find no physical cause. It seems that his collapse may have been emotional. Can you tell me anything about what you were discussing at the time he passed out?"

"Uh, well. We were talking a little about Kisho. I um...he surprised me by offering to have the gardeners and healer at Kuchiki Manor mentor Kisho. His offer surprised me and I was kinda rude to him. I feel bad about it now. I just...you know, people from the Seireitei...nobles don't usually waste time on people like Kisho and me. And I was afraid. I guess it was stupid, but..."

"I think I understand," Tetsuya said quietly, "but..."

"Aki?" said Takumi, stepping out of the room that the two were headed for, "Do you need something?"

"He is here with me," Tetsuya said calmly, "I understand that he was with my cousin when he was overcome. As Byakuya-sama's bodyguard, I wish to hear what this man has to say about what happened."

"Of course, Tetsuya-san, but...may I have a word with you for a moment?"

"Yes," Tetsuya answered, "Aki-san, why don't you wait for me inside?"

"Oh...are you sure?"

"It's fine," Tetsuya assured him, "I will join you in a moment."

Takumi and Tetsuya watched as the red haired man entered the room and sat down at Byakuya's side.

"Tetsuya-san," said Takumi, "I am sorry. We do not really approve of people like him having exposure to our patients, but Byakuya is mentoring the boy that Aki acts as guardian to, so he is sometimes about. We do try to..."

"What does my cousin say about him?"

"About Aki?" Takumi queried, "He asked a little about him and he tries to be kind to him. But Aki is hardened. He is a male prostitute. I think you can understand why we don't approve of him having much contact with one of our patients."

"I see," said Tetsuya, looking into the room, "But are you aware that in addition to looking somewhat like my cousin's former fukutaichou, his voice also sounds more than a little like Renji-san's?"

"Is that so?" Takumi said, frowning, "I wasn't aware. Byakuya never mentioned that to me, and although I had, of course, heard of Abarai Renji, I have never seen the man. But if he reminds Byakuya of Renji, then that might explain interest in Aki. Still, as Aki is...who he is, we have to be wary about him having too much contact with your cousin while he is healing. We don't know if maybe Aki had something to do with his collapse. We tested Byakuya's systems for drugs or toxins and found none, but..."

He broke off and both men stared as, within the room, Byakuya stirred at the touch of Aki's hand on his.

XXXXXXXXXX

Aki approached Byakuya's bed slowly, listening to the noble's soft breathing and feeling a strange sense of concern pass through him. He felt a thin shaft of guilt pass through him as he recalled his behavior towards the man, just before his collapse, and suddenly felt like he should apologize. He moved forward, pausing just short of the bed and searching for words.

"Hey, uh...look, I'm sorry. I probably shouldn't have been so hard on you the other day. It's just that most people, you know, nobles like you wouldn't offer me and Kisho something like that. I didn't mean to react that way, but I don't trust people easily, especially nobles. I guess I misjudged you."

His heart quickened as he sat down at Byakuya's bedside and his hand found Byakuya's.

"I hope you can forgive me for misjudging you..."

He left off speaking and frowned as images flashed in his surprised mind.

_He emerged from the forest trail and spotted Byakuya's lovely, slender form, handsomely dressed and outlined in moonlight, standing under a small sakura tree and gazing silently up at the moon._

_"You are late, Renji," he said, without turning._

_"Sorry for keeping you waiting," he said, moving closer and admiring the reflection of the moon in the noble's dark, gray eyes as Byakuya turned his head to look at him._

_"I am glad you came. Tomorrow is going to be busy. We won't have much time to talk."_

_"Is that why you asked me to come here," he chuckled, "You want to talk to me?"_

_He moved closer, so that they were face to face under that lovely moon. Byakuya's eyes shined, and his lips were almost smiling._

_"Yes. I haven't offered you my personal congratulations on your promotion, Renji."_

_"Well, I can honestly say that I couldn't have done it without you, Byakuya taichou."_

_"I do not think that is true," the noble mused softly, "I think that, one way or another, you would have found your way to greatness, Renji. I didn't add to what you are. I only respected it and helped it to reveal itself. What emerged was only what was inside you all along."_

_He took a steadying breath, admiring Renji's handsome face for a moment._

_"Thanks, Byakuya taichou."_

_"You are a taichou. Call me by my given name, Renji."_

_"Heh, I'm not a taichou yet. But...okay, for you, Byakuya it is."_

_He froze at the sudden change in the noble's dark eyes as he loosed the name. Byakuya's hand rose, and Renji went perfectly still as his graceful fingertips touched his lips, tracing them very lightly. He paused, blushing, a moment later, and started to withdraw his hand. Byakuya inhaled softly in surprise as Renji's rougher hand captured his and brought it to his lips, where he kissed it very gently. He looked quietly into Byakuya's surprised eyes, smiling widely._

_"I guess we're done talking now, ne?" he asked, moving closer._

_"I see that your ability to anticipate me does not only apply to the battlefield," Byakuya said, going still as Renji's warm lips sought his._

"Renji!" Byakuya sighed, shattering the dream that Aki was in and bringing him back to the infirmary at the rehabilitation center.

"Sorry," he said, shaking his head, "It's just me...Aki. I just wanted to make sure you were okay and tell you I'm sorry if I upset you the other day."

Byakuya's eyelids fluttered and opened, then his dark eyes fastened on the man at his side.

"Aki?" he whispered, looking slowly around the room, "How did I get here?"

"Aki brought you back to the center after you lost consciousness, two days ago," said Takumi, entering the room with Tetsuya at his side, "We conducted several tests and found no sign of narcotics and no physical reason for you collapse. Do you remember anything that might be useful in determining why this happened?"

"N-no," Byakuya said, keeping his eyes fixed on Aki, then realizing that his cousin was standing at the counselor's side, "Tetsuya?"

"Yes," his cousin said, stepping forward, "Takumi-san was kind enough to inform us of your condition. I was here yesterday as well, but we could not wake you."

"I felt Renji's presence," Byakuya said, sitting up slowly and rubbing his eyes, "I heard his voice."

"Sorry," said Aki, "I think that was me."

"He does sound a bit like Renji-san," Tetsuya mused, "So, perhaps his voice that sounds like Renji-san's reached you and brought you awake. Whatever the reason, I am grateful. Are you feeling all right now?"

"I will be fine," Byakuya assured them, "I was just a bit disoriented when I first woke. I even thought for a moment that I was looking at Renji, although I am fully aware of the facts."

"I am glad that you realize that," said Takumi, "Now, I will need a few minutes to have the healers fully assess your condition. Aki, Tetsuya-san, I will need you to wait outside."

The two left the room and waited in the hallway together. Tetsuya observed the redhead quietly for several minutes as they waited, then addressed him curiously.

"Aki-san, you look troubled. Is anything wrong?"

Aki sighed and ran his hands over his face.

"There's so damned much wrong with me, I don't know where to begin. The doc told you about me, didn't he?"

"He told me some," Tetsuya confirmed, "And he seems to think that it is not good for you to be around my cousin."

"Yeah, well who can blame him, right?" Aki said, scratching the back of his neck, "Byakuya and I don't really run with the same kinda people."

"You have had a difficult life," Tetsuya observed, "You have had to make hard choices and sacrifices in the best interests of your ward, Kisho. But although you saw to his best interests, you have had to ignore your own."

"Yeah, I pretty much had to sell my soul and everything else to Madoka. He's the guy that owns me."

Even not being able to see, he could feel Tetsuya's eyes watching him closely.

"I do not think I agree with Takumi," he said finally, "I think that maybe you might be of assistance to my cousin...that is, if you wish to be."

"Oh," said Aki, feeling a twinge of surprise, "If you think I'd really be helping. I mean, last time I even talked to the guy, he passed out."

"Yes," Tetsuya agreed, "And it was probably the first time since Renji's death that my cousin has faced the reality of things without resorting to something to numb the pain."

"But he passed out for like _two days_," Aki reminded him, "I don't know if that's so good!"

"I don't either," said Takumi, stepping out of the room, "but I do think that we should observe how the two of you interact to better decide that. Byakuya has asked that you be allowed to visit him. And he has also requested that you might help Kisho and him in the gardens when you can."

"You don't sound like you like that very much, Doc," Aki chuckled sarcastically.

"I don't," Takumi said bluntly, "But just because I disapprove of your lifestyle doesn't mean that I am going to overlook that you may be of assistance to Byakuya. I want very much for him to get well. That being said, I will warn you that you are to have no sexual relations with Byakuya while he is here, and you are not to offer him any kind of drug."

"I don't do drugs," Aki said defensively, "And I'm not going to have sex with him either."

"Then, what exactly is your interest in him, Aki? Why are you willing to help him? Before, you didn't seem happy about the idea of Kisho even seeing him."

"I don't know, really," Aki confessed, shaking his head, "I just feel shitty for upsetting him right before he passed out."

"How did you upset him?" Takumi asked, frowning.

"I...he wanted to take Kisho to Kuchiki Manor to train with their gardeners and healer. But I accused him of just wanting to take Kisho away from me. Who wouldn't think that Kisho was better off without me, right? So, I just figured that was why he was doing it."

"But you don't feel that way now?" Takumi queried.

"No. He says that he wants to help us."

"And do you want to be helped?" Tetsuya asked pointedly.

Aki hesitated for a moment, then deflated.

"I...I don't know. I don't know if I can. If I try to leave Madoka, the guy's going to kill me. I think, even if Byakuya offered him money for me, he would rather kill me than sell me. Madoka's got a real hatred for nobles."

"Why is that?" Takumi asked, his head tilting slightly in curiosity, "Did something happen that made him feel that way?"

"He says it's because of me. He said that I used to have a noble lover, and that he beat me until I was blind and almost dead."

"Is that what happened to you?" Tetsuya asked, his voice softening, "Is that true?"

"I don't know," Aki confessed, "All I know is that Madoka has taken care of me since he found me. He's shitty to me and he lets clients do really perverted things to me. But he says that he loves me, and that he's not going to let a guy like the one who hurt me before ever do anything like that again. He takes care of me and he pays for Kisho's education, so I'm in debt to him. My life sucks, and I get why you look down on me, but I'm just doing the only thing I can. All that matters to me is that little boy. That's all I have that I can be proud of. That's why I came down kinda hard on Byakuya when it sounded like he was going to take Kisho away from me. But I didn't mean to upset him like I did. I really didn't."

"You did the right thing by seeing him safely back here," Tetsuya assured him, "Now, the important thing is to help my cousin to recover. Takumi-san, if you think that Aki's presence will help my cousin to better deal with his loss, then I think you should allow them to spend some time together. Monitor them, if you feel you need to, for my cousin's safety, but I think you should not otherwise interfere with them."

"Well, you are the one granted rights to make decisions on Byakuya's behalf, so I will allow Aki to visit the center, but remember my warnings, Aki. If you take any inappropriate actions with Byakuya, I will immediately revoke your privileges to visit him."

"Sure...okay, yeah," Aki said, nodding, "Whatever you say, Doc. Ah...look, I have to go. Madoka said that I have to be back by this evening. He gets pretty pissed when I'm late, so..."

Tetsuya exchanged glances with Takumi and something passed silently between the two.

"Please keep me apprised on Byakuya-sama's condition." the noble said, moving to follow Aki.

"I will," Takumi promised, watching in surprise as the noble's body seemed to dissolve into thin air.

XXXXXXXXXX

"You are barely on time," Madoka said in a low voice as Aki entered the room, "You push the limits."

"Sorry. I was just seeing to my kid."

"_Liar!_" Madoka hissed, grabbing the redhead by the front of his shirt, "Your son wasn't at the center. I checked. Why did you go there? Who were you there to see?"

"J-just the guy who is mentoring Kisho!" Aki exclaimed pulling at the other man's hands, "He was sick and I was just visiting because he'd been good to Kisho! That's all! I swear it!"

"And who is this man, Aki?" Madoka demanded.

"He's no one," Aki insisted, his face going pale, "C'mon, I wouldn't go against the rules. You know that. I wouldn't want to lose my son. I didn't do anything wrong, Madoka, really!"

"You did one thing wrong," Madoka said, shoving him down onto the bed, "You lied to me about why you were there. You said you were there about your boy and he wasn't even there."

"I was just afraid you wouldn't understand. That's all. I'm sorry!"

"Are you?" Madoka asked coldly, opening his clothing and climbing onto the bed, "Then, if you feel that way, why don't you express to me, just how sorry you are, Aki!"

Aki barely had time to retreat into his mind before he found himself tightly bound and the heavy torments just beginning.


	7. Stolen Pride

**Chapter 7: Stolen Pride**

**(Sorry this chapter disappeared. I realized after posting that I had ramped up the pace too much and wanted to slow things down and develop more between Aki and Byakuya. So, anyway, this is a partial rewrite, bringing Byakuya and Aki closer to the truth. It will leave more room for Bya/Ren fluff before the climax of the story. Merry Christmas everyone! Spunky loves ya!)**

Aki groaned as heavy throbs of pain assaulted his curled body. Heat flashed on his face and burned on the flushed surfaces of his skin, making him shiver uncontrollably. He sensed that Madoka seemed to be absent. He tried to force his aching body into sitting up, but couldn't manage it and only curled his body tighter, moaning softly in distress and even lowering himself to wish his master would come back to relieve his pain.

But then, Madoka sometimes enjoyed seeing him suffer.

_It's weird. He keeps me so close to him and under his control. He seems to like having sex with me, but I get the feeling that it's all about the keeping of control. He's horribly cruel if he thinks I am giving another man too much attention, but then acts as though I mean nothing to him, except as a way of earning money. I don't even know what the truth is anymore. I wish I could remember how he found me._

_I feel like he hasn't told me everything. And that half of what he has told me are lies. He says that the nobles are all arrogant bastards and he has actually turned down money that could have been made because he doesn't want me to be fucked by them. But what about Byakuya? He's not anything like that. Maybe it's because of what he's been through, but even before Renji died, there was the fact that Renji was a commoner. And if Renji was a commoner and Byakuya had no problem loving him, then how can what Madoka said about the nobles be true? I don't understand..._

He shivered again and curled his body more tightly, groaning feverishly and finally calling out to Madoka. His master didn't answer his weak cry, but he was surprised when someone else did.

A cool, damp washcloth cleaned away the heavy sweat and touches of warm, soft fingers and gentle healing power made the discomfort begin to fade. He shivered madly again as the blankets were pulled back and his sweat drenched clothes were stripped away. There was a pause and the person's soothing whisper reached his spinning mind. He didn't know who it was who was taking care of him, but he could feel that it was someone inherently kind, someone who could be trusted.

_I wonder how long it has been since I felt something like that._

Warmth flooded his body again as he was lain back on the bed in fresh clothes and bedding and given a soft admonition to rest.

"I would take you with me if I could, but the barrier here is powerful. It is of a kind that I can barely comprehend. I was only able to pass through because I was able to force a drop of water in as Madoka left, then I could shift inside, myself. But this barrier, although I can escape it using the method that brought me inside...for some reason, it restricts your passage in particular. It is very strange, Aki-san. But I will return to Byakuya-sama and tell him what I sensed. Rest easy for now. We will get you away from that man as soon as we can."

Aki sucked in a surprised breath as a fuzzy vision flashed in his head.

_"Byakuya-sama! Renji-san, it is me!"_

_Byakuya stirred in his arms, turning his head and looking up for the first time since the two had taken refuge to wait for allies to enter the area._

_"Tetsuya!" Byakuya cried softly, smiling in relief as his cousin appeared and quickly began to heal the two injured warriors._

_"I will have you ready for evacuation quickly," Byakuya's blue-eyed cousin promised, "Arashi is just over there, standing watch until we are ready to leave."_

_"Thank you so much for coming for us!" Renji sighed gratefully._

_"How went the battles?" Tetsuya asked, looking around, "As Nodt...did you...?"_

_"He beat him, all right!" Renji said proudly, "After the guy got in a hit on me that knocked me kinda loopy. But he paid for it, ne Taichou?"_

_"He did," Byakuya replied, meeting Renji's eyes with regained pride._

_"That is good," Tetsuya said, continuing their healing, "The family is safe. The war has ended officially, and we are beginning to return to the subfamily homes. They are mostly in ruins, but spirits are very high! Everyone is so glad that our enemy has been beaten."_

"Wh-what's wrong with me?" Aki moaned, shivering again.

"You are going to be all right," Tetsuya promised, misunderstanding him.

He touched Aki's face gently.

"That man was very rough with you. But I have healed the worst of your injuries. You will be all right now."

"T-tetsuya, y-ou were th-there!"

"What?"

"With m-me and Byakuya, ne?"

Tetsuya gave him a confused look.

"Sorry, what was that?" he asked.

Aki started to answer, but Tetsuya made a sound of concern and rose swiftly.

"I am sorry, Aki-san," he said hastily, "I must go before I am sensed! Madoka is coming back!"

"T-tetsuya...no...n-no, come...come back..." Aki panted deliriously as the noble shifted to a nearly invisible waterform, then invoked his power and shifted to a second waterform he had placed outside the house.

Inside, Aki heard footsteps in the hallway and then the sound of the door opening. A few moment later, he felt a weight settle onto the bed.

"T-tetsuya?" he moaned senselessly, "Is B-byakuya...?"

He felt the body next to him stiffen and a chill went through him as hard, black eyes observed him carefully.

"Again, _Renji_? How many times must I remind you? That part of your life is _gone_! You seem especially determined lately to remember, but you know I won't let that happen. Why do you persist? Is it that person you've been seeing at the counseling center? I have thought it was a bad idea to..."

"Tetsuya, don't go! T-tell Byakuya I am...!"

Madoka's eyes turned to chips of deadly, frozen ice and the air went still and frigid around them. A circle of golden thorns rose around Madoka, then one sank itself into Aki's struggling body. Inside Aki's fevered mind, everything suddenly cleared.

_Renji stepped out of the garganta and dropped down onto the cold sand, looking around carefully, then nodding to the two officers with him._

_"Watch my back. I'm going to scan the area."_

_He moved cautiously, not sensing anyone nearby, but more than aware that there were still rogue quincies about. He swept the area again, and this time picked up a soft vibration. He started to turn back to the officers behind him, but heard them give hard, simultaneous shrieks of terror. He sucked in a surprised breath as something sharp pierced his back, coming through to the front and poking out so that he could see the bright golden color. Renji's eyes widened in shock._

_"What's wrong?" asked a calm, deadly voice, "Did you think I was dead?"_

_Renji choked on the blood filling his mouth and felt his knees weaken._

_"B-bastard!"_

_"Do you want to know why I survived, Abarai Renji?" the white-clad quincy asked coldly, "It was because of you. You see, when that bastard noble struck me down, instead of making sure he had finished me, he instead put his focus on you. You remember, ne? He ran from the place where I came down and he went back to save you."_

_"B-but the white fire...f-from his...? You weren't destroyed? How...?" Renji gasped, his eyelids fluttering and Zabimaru dropping from a nerveless hand._

_"If you hadn't been there to distract him, he might have realized that I was only incapacitated, and he would have actually finished me. As it was, he only injured me."_

_The quincy turned the redhead and Renji choked back a horrified cry at the disfiguring devastation wrought upon the quincy's face and body._

_"I have been waiting ever since, Renji," As Nodt breathed in his ear, "I was waiting for the right way to make him hurt like I did. I watched him for a long time from the shadows. And I learned that there was something very dear to him that he would not be able to bear losing. Do you know what that was, Abarai Renji? You do, don't you? You know that's why I lured you here. I was waiting for him to send you out alone. He is so careful with you. He so fears losing you."_

_"S-son of a bitch, LET GO!" Renji screamed, fighting the iron grip that held him in place as blood loss began to weaken him._

_Red reiatsu swelled furiously around him, only to be swallowed up and devoured by the damaged quincy._

_"Do you want to know what I'm going to do to you, Abarai Renji?"_

_"Do what you want, you ugly, fucking FREAK! You'll never touch him! I won't let you!" the redhead howled._

_"I don't have to touch him," As Nodt said silkenly, "I have already broken him. With you gone, Kuchiki Byakuya will fall apart. He'll be worse than dead without you. And while he mourns you and falls apart, you will be alive and well...and with me."_

_"You coward!" Renji seethed, still struggling fiercely, "You can't beat him, so you pull something like this? I won't let you! I won't...!"_

_"You belong to me now. And this, Renji, is what I will do to you. My thorn is imbedded in your body, and has already corrupted your heart with fear. I know the greatest fear you have."_

_"You filthy, disgusting...!"_

_"And from this moment forward, the fear in you will be intense, horrifying, overwhelming. Every time you begin to remember, you will relive that awful moment. You know the one I mean, ne? Watching him be swallowed up by his own power, over and over until you can't bear to see anymore. You will go blind from the torment, Renji, and you will lose your mind. The person you are will disappear into that single worst memory of your life. You will see him struck down, drowning in his own blood and dying, until you can't stop screaming."_

_As Nodt gave another wicked laugh as the stricken shingami fell onto his knees. Renji felt the ungodly swell of the memory begin to bloom in his besieged mind and lost himself in a long, mind-numbing scream of terror._

As Nodt felt Renji stiffen, and the redhead's mouth opened to scream. He let the sound fill the darkened room, watching as the redhead's eyes cleared for a single moment and met his in full understanding.

"It's shocking, isn't it?" the quincy said icily, "realizing how far you have fallen. Look at you now, not the proud captain level shinigami anymore, but the lowly whore of the lower Rukon where you crawled out of. But there is one torment left that I must see to. I am going to lure _him _here. I have recovered enough power to kill him, so the time has come. But...so that you don't wreck my plans while I am gone, I will renew the seal on your memory. You will disappear again for a little while. But I promise you Renji, the next time you start to remember, I will reunite the two of you and you will have your last moments together. You and Byakuya will be together in the end. That _is _what you want, ne?"

Renji felt the quincy's power seep into his body again and howled in torment as everything around him darkened and disappeared into a fireshot shriek of pain.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Are you all right now, Aki?" Madoka asked quietly, his voice cutting through the thick fog around the redhead's drowsy mind, "You have been very ill. I was concerned."

"Y-yeah," Aki managed, sucking in a cleansing breath of air and fighting to remember how he had ended up in bed, "What happened? I got sick?"

"Yes. It must have been that fever that has been circulating about. But you are fine now. You only need to rest. I have cancelled a few appointments for you so that you will be fully restored. Fukuda was especially disappointed, but I assured him that he would be the first to see you once you are well."

"Ugh," Aki groaned, rolling over and turning away, "That guy is majorly fucked in the head. How you can let a guy like that touch me..."

"I wouldn't if it wasn't necessary," Madoka said, slipping an arm around the redhead and nipping at his neck thoughtfully, "but the money is good...very good, Aki. Please him and I will let you have an entire week off after."

_Where have I heard that before, _Aki sighed inwardly.

"In any case, today you may rest. I have some things to do, but I will be back. Behave yourself, Aki. And stay away from that noble at the counseling center. Remember what I warned you about."

"Yeah, I remember," Aki grunted, dropping his head back onto his pillow.

He waited as Madoka's weight lifted from the bed, and the door opened and closed. He waited until he was sure that the man was gone from the house before sitting up and frowning, rubbing his hands over his face and trying harder to remember.

_Shoot, the last thing I remember is leaving the counseling center to come back here. What the hell happened after that? It's all just a big blank._

He bit at his lips, trying harder to remember, and felt a flicker of memory.

_The touch of a cool, wet cloth on his forehead._

_A kind, concerned voice._

_Someone familiar._

_Someone he knew._

"Huh," he mused, "Maybe if I retrace my steps..."

He left the bed and dressed slowly, then started out of the house, pausing as a few words came back to him.

_"I would take you with me if I could, but the barrier here is powerful. It is of a kind that I can barely comprehend."_

"That guy?" Aki mused, "Byakuya's cousin?"

He touched the front door questioningly with his fingertips.

"A barrier?" he mused, "There's nothing here now."

He opened the door and walked out into the street, then started on the pathway through town, heading in the direction of the counseling center. Passing into the next district, he paused to buy lunch from a vendor, then continued towards the center. He was near the edge of town, when he heard a soft catching of breath and scented sakura.

"Aki?" Byakuya's voice said, sounding surprised.

"Byakuya?" Aki queried worriedly, "Weren't you still recovering?"

"I was," Byakuya explained, "But I had to see you. My cousin came to the center before leaving for the Seireitei. He was very concerned for you. He says that Madoka seems very dangerous, that his powers are uncharacteristically strong. The barrier he set around your..."

"Barrier?" Aki repeated, frowning, "But I just came from home and there was no barrier. I remember your cousin's voice, and him saying something about a barrier, but it's not there now. I don't know what that means."

"Aki," Byakuya said urgently, "we should get indoors. I don't know Madoka and because of the way he covers his face, Tetsuya wasn't able to describe him beyond his clothing. My cousin is going to take what he knows to a friend of ours and see what he can learn about the power that Madoka uses, but I need to be sure that you are safe while he does that. I want you to come back to the counseling center with me, so that you can be protected."

Aki shook his head firmly.

"You don't understand, Byakuya. Madoka can find me anywhere. And if I hide from him, he will only take Kisho from me. I can't let him do that, so...I'm sorry. I have to stay where I am."

"Wait," Byakuya pleaded, touching Aki's arm as the redhead turned, "Aki, just...let's go into the inn here and talk for a bit. Please."

Aki paused, considering, then nodded briefly and followed Byakuya inside. The noble approached the desk and paid for a room, then the two left the lobby and proceeded to the private suite.

"You're going to a lot of effort just to talk," Aki said nervously, "Byakuya, what is going on? You know you really aren't up to coming into town...and if that counselor finds out you were in a motel room with me, he's going to kick me and Kisho out and not let us back in that place. He doesn't really think I'm good for you."

"Of course not," Byakuya sighed, "He thinks that I have latched on to you as a means of dealing with my emotions about Renji. But...it is more than that. I want to help you and Kisho. I want to get you away from that man and..."

"And what?" Aki cried, taking the surprised noble by the shoulders, "Byakuya, wake up, okay? Look at the hard facts here! I am a prostitute! I let guys fuck me for money. That's who I am. I keep it from Kisho, but you need to realize the truth. I'm not like you and I never will be! I am..."

"You are a fighter," Byakuya said, moving closer to him, "You have the means to stand up to Madoka...friends who will protect the two of you."

"You can't protect me from Madoka, okay?" Aki yelled, backing away, "You may have been strong once, but right now, you don't even have your powers! Byakuya, you're a drunk in rehab and I'm a whore, get it? We don't belong together and you need to just forget trying to help me!"

"Aki, please, listen to me," Byakuya insisted, "This...what we are now, that isn't all there is. I think you know that. When I am with you, I feel a strength in you that is more than what is here on the surface."

Byakuya paused as Aki froze, staring at him as though he was beginning to see him. And in the shocked redhead's mind, another memory flared, dragging a terrified cry from his lips and bringing him to his knees.

"Aki!"

_"I...I wanted to tell you before Rukia and I go back to the Seireitei. Taichou, I am glad that you are alive. I was scared to death when I saw you disappear into the petals like that."_

_"I am sorry, Renji," Byakuya said solemnly, "I should never have let that happen in front of you."_

_"Why not? Because you're a taichou? Because, as my taichou, you're not allowed to fail? Not ever? That's bullshit. We failed together. Now, we're going to kick some ass together...well, once you finish up here and join us."_

_Renji's eyes widened as Byakuya's looked into his, and the noble's hand found his._

_"You will be all right now, Renji," he assured the redhead, "There is new strength in you...a strength that will soon let you stand as my equal. Fight hard now. Defend our home. And know that I will be there, standing with you, proud to fight alongside you, as soon as I am able."_

_"Taichou..."_

"Aki, are you all right?" Byakuya asked, moving closer and touching his face.

Aki flinched and stepped back as another memory assaulted him.

_Byakuya leaned over him, applying pressure to the wound on his chest and looking around worriedly._

_"We're seriously fucked, aren't we, Taichou?"_

_"Not even close," Byakuya said in a low, angry tone, "They may have injured you and they may have cut us off from the rest of our forces, but they have no idea who they are dealing with. Get up, Renji."_

_"Wh-what? What are you...?" _

_"Get up!" Byakuya hissed, "I know you are stronger than this! Get up and fight, Renji! We aren't going to let them win!"_

_The words brought a red swell of raging fire into the redhead's veins. Roaring, he surged to his feet, blood still leaking from his wounds, but the fire erupting from his eyes and his reiatsu blazing all around him._

"I have to go!" Aki gasped, turning and running for the door.

"Aki, wait!" Byakuya called after him, "Aki, what's wrong? Come back!"

Aki raced out of the room, down the hallway, and out into the street. He buried himself in the crowd of people, his heart pounding as the memories continued to return.

_It can't be!_

_I can't be him!_

_I can't be Abarai Renji!_

_There's no way...no way that can be! Because, if that's true, then everything Madoka told me is a lie! He's been hiding me from Byakuya. And I know Byakuya wouldn't ever do the things Madoka said my noble boyfriend did to me. What the hell is going on here? What is Madoka doing? More than that, who is he really? Why is he doing all of this?_

"Aki?" Madoka's voice said, snapping the redhead out of his reverie, "I had thought you were at home, resting."

"Y-yeah, I was, but I...I wanted some fresh air. I guess I overdid it. I feel pretty sick."

"You don't look well. Come, I'll see you back home."

"Yeah, okay."

_What do I do now?_

_Am I really Abarai Renji?_

_And if I am...is Kisho...Byakuya's son too?_


	8. Seeds of Love

**Chapter 8: Seeds of Love**

**(OMG, just finished a very, very long list of thank yous and shout outs, then accidently closed the window before saving. :( I have to leave for work, but I promise I will catch up on those next chapter. Gah! And I had so many fun comments that took me over a half hour to finish! Just realized corrections are gone too, so have to edit again later...*sighs* I guess we learned again to save early and often...ouch, I hate learning lessons like that. Anyway, enjoy the chapter! Love you, Spunky)**

Byakuya watched quietly as Kisho's small fingers sifted the dark, rich soil, making a place for one of the tiny seeds he carried, then pressing it down into the opening he had made and covering it. He smiled at the Kuchiki heir for a moment, then bowed his head slightly and let small flickers of his reiatsu leak through his opened palm that laid over the place where he had planted the seed, and into the soil below it. He felt a tickle under his hand and lifted it, watching closely as the thin stem of the new plant emerged and slowly sprouted.

"That is very good, Kisho," Byakuya complimented him, at the same time, bringing a seedling of his own to life, "You have given that seedling a firm foundation on which to grow."

"Thank you, Kuchiki-sama," the boy said, removing another seed from his pouch and repeating the procedure, "I really like making things grow."

"You have an impressive gift, Aki. Michio was telling me that you are helping with more advanced healing treatments already. You are growing into a fine, young healer."

Kisho smiled and continued his work while Byakuya watched, admiring the way the sun reflected on his bright hair.

_When I am with him, I always think of Renji. I wonder if our child would have been like this. It is sad that I will never know. Like Hisana, Renji has gone from me and he is not coming back. It still hurts so much to admit that, but slowly over time, it is settling into my heart. I know that sadness will never go away completely, but like these young seedlings, love may someday grow inside me again. And as much as I was broken when Hisana, then Renji died, I am still here. I am still alive...and I want to feel that way again someday._

"Kuchiki-sama, are you all right?"

Byakuya realized that as he had fallen into his thoughts, his eyes had closed and he had lost awareness.

"I am fine," he told the boy, "I merely wandered off into my thoughts for a moment."

"You looked sad. You do that sometimes. You just suddenly look really sad and get very quiet."

"Yes. I am recovering from losing a loved one."

"Abarai Renji," Kisho said, nodding, "I like the stories you tell me about the two of you. If I was ever powerful, I would want to have adventures like that. I know I am just a healer, but..."

"Kisho," Byakuya said, capturing the boy's hand and turning over, then laying a seed in his palm, "Healers are powerful too. They do not usually fight, but they have tremendous skills and instincts that help them survive. And they are a critical part of any military team. For even though they are not fighters, they must go into dangerous areas and retrieve fighters who have been injured. A healer's strength is in the preservation of life and well-being. It is not demeaning, but it is a great thing to be a healer. Your gift will help you to save many lives, whether you do that here in the Rukongai or come to the Seireitei and join the fourth division."

Kisho looked down and studied the seed in his hand for a moment.

"I don't know if I could ever leave," he said sadly, "I couldn't leave Aki alone here. I know that he thinks I should go to the Seireitei, but..."

"But you love Aki. He has always been there for you and you worry about him. It is natural, when you love someone to want to care for that person. And I do not want you to worry about Aki. I am trying to convince him to come to the Seireitei to live at Kuchiki Manor while you are trained as a healer. And should you be taken into the fourth division, I will care for Aki on your behalf. He has had a difficult life, and I would see him smile again and be happy for the rest of his days."

"Me too," Kisho said, closing his hand around the seed, then planting it in the ground, "I know that he doesn't think much of himself, but he is a good person, Kuchiki-sama."

"I agree."

Byakuya watched the boy plant another seed, then the two moved to sit in the shade of a tree and laid out the picnic lunch they had brought with them. They washed their hands in a small brook, then sat down together to eat. Byakuya scanned the area briefly with his eyes, then invoked what power he could under the limiter.

"I do not sense Aki here today," he commented.

"He hasn't been around for a few days. I'm getting kind of worried, Kuchiki-sama," Kisho confessed, "But sometimes that Madoka-san is cruel and locks him up. I know he hurts Aki. I wish Aki could get away from him."

"I do as well," Byakuya agreed, "I am nearing the end of my treatment here, and as I begin to spend time at my home, I hope to take Aki with me to help him settle in there."

"I hope that he can go there," Kisho sighed worriedly, "but I don't think Madoka-san will let him go. He's a horrible man."

"Yes, well, as I said, my treatment is coming along and I will soon have my powers unsealed. When the time comes, I will be able to take Aki away from that man, even if I must use force to do so."

"Thank you, Kuchiki-sama. Aki and I are lucky to have you for a friend, even if Aki is kind of mean to you sometimes. It's just because people have hurt him before. I don't think he really means it."

"No. Aki is a kind man."

The two finished their meal, then cleaned up their work things and Byakuya bid farewell to the boy. He remained in the gardens for a while, looking down at his reflection in the brook and noting the return of strength to his features.

_It has been a long time since there was strength in me. I felt weak and broken without Renji. But even though he is gone, there are still things and people I care about, who need me to take care of them._

He thought of Aki, then and a thin shaft of regret for the man touched his heart.

_Tetsuya has been gone for several days now. I wonder when he will return with news of what Urahara Kisuke found._

He rose to his feet and walked slowly back to the center, where he changed his clothes and made a list of things he needed from the town. Placing the list in a pocket, he left the center and walked slowly into town, where he made his purchases, all the while, looking around for any sign of the absent redhead. Seeing none, he started back along the main street, heading for the edge of town. He paused as a voice issued from within a cluster of bushes.

"Byakuya?"

"Aki?"

"Don't draw attention to yourself," the man's voice warned him, "There is an opening in the brush, just ahead. Try not to be seen entering it."

Byakuya nodded briefly and continued forward, then waited until there was no one around and slipped into the bushes. He found Aki waiting beneath an oak tree, bearing fresh bruises and dark circles around his eyes.

"Aki, you're hurt."

"I'm okay," the redhead assured him, trying at first to avoid his hands, but then yielding as Byakuya used what power the limiter allowed him to heal the other man's wounds.

Aki sat down on a large boulder, with Byakuya alongside him, continuing the healing as Aki explained.

"Sorry I disappeared for a few days like that. I'd meant to come to help out like I said I would, but...you know, work got busy, so..."

"I understand," Byakuya assured him, "but Kisho was very worried about you. And...so was I."

"Well, you shouldn't waste your time," Aki answered, lacking the usual forcefulness behind his words, "I'm okay."

"You're not okay," Byakuya objected softly, his hands finishing the healing, but remaining on Aki's pale face, "Anyone can see that."

"Even a blind thing like me, huh?" Aki said, gentle flutters invading his heart as Byakuya's fingers caressed his cheek, then ran along his jawline.

"Aki, I am going to get you away from him. I promise you. My treatment is nearing an end. I will soon be able to return for visits to my home, and when I do, I am taking you and Kisho with me."

Aki swallowed hard, tears rising in his unseeing eyes.

"I know you want to help me," he said, more softly, "But you can't. Madoka would find us and he would hurt Kisho. He would find a way. I know him. Please, Byakuya, I...I want you to take Kisho and get far away from here...please."

"I am not going to leave you," Byakuya said, shaking his head firmly, "My powers are returning and I am going to use them to protect the two of you."

"Byakuya..."

"The truth is...I do not think that I would have recovered as well as I have without you and Kisho."

"You don't mean that," Aki objected, "It's just that Kisho..."

"No, Aki," Byakuya insisted, leaning forward and sliding his arms around the redhead, "This isn't just about Kisho. This is about what I feel for you as well."

Aki knew he should pull away, but froze under the spell of the noble's gentle embrace and couldn't move to evade the warm, soft lips that found his. It was the most tender, beautiful kiss he ever remembered feeling and he felt tears rise in his eyes almost instantly as it deepened and Byakuya's tongue touched his lips, seeking entrance. And even though he knew the price if Madoka should see, he couldn't help but yield to those strong, affectionate arms and that melting kiss.

A moment later, Aki felt that the noble's fingers had begun to slide along the skin of his shoulder, moving in the same pattern that Madoka's often did. He went rigid, sucking in a surprised breath.

"What is it?" Byakuya asked, rubbing his cheek against the redhead's, "Did I do something wrong?"

"N-no," Aki said, brushing it off as a fluke, "I just...if Madoka caught us doing this..."

"No one is nearby," the noble assured him, "We are alone."

The redhead tried to relax as Byakuya coaxed him into lying down under a tree in the soft grass, but the movement of those graceful, gentle hands over his naked chest and soft belly brought another memory crashing back into his mind.

_"Sorry, I know you hate it when I let myself get beat up like this."_

_"Shh, be quiet now, Abarai," Byakuya chided him, "This is a time to focus on healing. I want you to get well quickly."_

_"Heh," Renji chuckled, "And then you'll bust my ass for this, ne?"_

_"You know me very well, Renji."_

He tried to pull away, but Byakuya's body swiftly trapped his. Aki froze at the feel of that feather-soft flesh that warmed his where it touched him. He felt the heat and pressure of the noble's arousal and lost his breath entirely as Byakuya's hands guided his to rest on the noble's chest.

"Wh-what are you doing?"

"Shh, I want to be with you," Byakuya whispered, "Please, Aki, trust me."

The stunned redhead found himself thoroughly overtaken as Byakuya's body rested warmly on top of his, and the other man's hips moved, creating wonderful friction between them as Byakuya's mouth took possession of his again.

_But if I really am him, then should we be doing this? What is he going to think of me, knowing I have turned into something like this? I'm not strong. I can't protect myself or anyone else. Why is he doing this?_

"Byakuya!" he gasped, turning his head away, "We shouldn't..."

"Why not?" Byakuya asked softly, "Are you saying that you do not find me desirable?"

"N-no! No way! But...look, you know Takumi-san will banish me from the center."

"So, we'll meet privately in town until it is time to leave for Kuchiki Manor."

"I told you, I can't leave Madoka," Aki insisted, "He's too..."

He lost his breath again as Byakuya's lips enslaved his, and the noble shifted his weight, bringing the redhead's aroused member to his entrance.

"Byakuya..." Aki moaned, knowing he should resist, but unable to let go of the other man, "You shouldn't. You're a noble. You don't belong with someone like me!"

"Aki," Byakuya whispered into his ear, "The greatest statement of love a man can make to his lover is to become vulnerable to him. I know that you don't believe me, but I am in love with you and I am going to show that to you."

Aki's blind eyes rounded as he felt the slow, tenuous joining of their bodies. Byakuya's fingers laced together with his and the noble sat up, smiling as Aki's hands clenched at his and the redhead groaned at the heat that wrapped around him, holding him tightly. His hands broke away from the noble's, capturing his sweating torso and sliding down slowly to rest on and encourage his writhing hips.

_Oh gods, I remember this! I mean, we were only together once and he made love to me that time, but I remember how he was...how it felt that time...when...when we made Kisho!_

_Oh my god!_

_I really am him. I am Abarai Renji and Kisho is Byakuya's and my son. But...how did I get here? How did I end up like this? There are just so many questions. I can't tell him. I don't want him to know. He loves me because he htinks I'm Aki, and that I was never strong. But he could never look at me, Abarai Renji and love me like this after seeing me like this!_

_But I love him so much. And it's been so long since we were together. I will let it happen between us, just this once, and then I'll just stop seeing him. I'll let him and Kisho go. It's the right thing to do. It's best for both of them if Abarai Renji never comes back. I want him to remember me how I was before, not like this!_

_Yeah..._

_I will make love to him this once and then I'll disappear. He'll look for me, but he won't find me. And when he realizes I'm not coming back, he'll take Kisho and go._

Aki registered suddenly that something had changed, then noticed that reiatsu was flowing between Byakuya's swaying boy and his. There was brightness around the corners of where his vision would have been, and as their pleasure reached his zenith, the lovely shape of the noble began to appear before his shocked eyes.

_Kami, it is him! That face...that beautiful angel's face!_

_Byakuya taichou!_

"Aki," Byakuya panted, falling forward and placing his hands on the redhead's chest, "Aki, what is it? Can you...can you see me?"

The words left them as Aki's shaking body seized, then descended into mad shudders of intense pleasure. Byakuya's arms shook gently and he reeled at the feeling of blazing heat inside him. He fell down onto Aki's heaving chest, kissing the man's red mouth hungrily as Aki rolled him onto his back and mounted him.

"Aki, I don't want to hurt you," Byakuya objected, "That's why I didn't take you."

"I know," the redhead whispered, but the thing is...I never wanted anyone else inside me. You're the only one I've ever wanted there. I love you too, Byakuya tai-...Byakuya...I love you!"

The two went quiet as Aki joined their bodies. He smiled and watched the noble's beautiful, dark eyes widen and go black in pure bliss as their coupling continued. And looking down at that lovely face, watching as the pleasure overtook him, feeling the twinges of scathing heat as he climaxed made Aki collapse onto the noble's chest. They laid together, recovering their breath.

"Aki," Byakuya managed after a few minutes, "You can see me now, can't you?"

"Yeah," the redhead confessed, "It's kinda fuzzy, but, yeah."

"When was the last time you remember seeing with your eyes?"

Aki thought back and reeled at the memory.

_"I had meant to use a protection charm," Byakuya said, looking down at their still entangled bodies, "As I am noble, I might have made you pregnant, Renji."_

_"What?" the redhead squawked, sitting up quickly, "Really?"_

_"It is something that occurred during a great war of the past. The fighting raged out of control between noble families and the number of women and children declined, even after the hostilities were ended. A gifted scientist of the Aomori clan bred several males, called Breeders. These men were able to impregnate male or female partners, as well as being able to carry children themselves."_

"Aki?"

_Shit...we might get pregnant. But would that be me or him? He let me take him first. I think that means he might..._

"Aki, are you all right?"

"Yeah," Aki sighed, holding the other man tightly and tearing up again.

_I guess it's okay, giving him one last gift before I leave him forever._


End file.
